Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Quit Washing Your Dishes

Here's the deal, I just loaded my whole dishwasher and did not turn on my sink.  Blam-O.  And you know what? My dishes will be fresh and clean in the morning. For reals.  I don't know why you do it?  What makes you... (I'll say "Rinse" but I mean "Fully Wash") your dishes before you put them into the machine whose entire purpose in life is to...wash...your...dishes.

Do you do this with your clothes? "Hang on sweetie, let me just fill this tub with water and soap and crack out the wash board and just prep these clothes for the Washer. Oh, and then I'll line dry them for a few days before I pop them into the Dryer."  COME ON!

Do you do it with your Lawn Mower?  "Oh, give me a sec, babe, I just need to grab some scissors and get on my hands and knees and give the grass a quick trim before I start the mower."  HONESTLY!

 Do you do it with your Blow Dryer?  "Sorry, kids, Mommy just needs to jump in the car and get to the freeway so she can stick her head out the open window and get my hair dry before I dry my hair."  YOU'RE KILLING ME!  (actually, letting your hair air dry will do wonders for it health wise, and if you must blow dry, you should not run a brush through it while your hair is wet, it tangles and pulls out much easier at this point.  You should aim the dryer downward and hold above your head, letting gravity and the warm air straighten your hair, then when the hair is 95% dry, you can lightly brush out (starting from the ends first then work your way to the scalp) and finally smooth and polish with a round brush, preferably one with a ceramic shaft to heat the hair from the inside out, that way you can use the blow dryer to give it cool shot right at the end for maximum effect.) I mean, I don't think you even give your dishwasher a chance.

I bet when you were young, and your mom made you do the dishes, she had you spit polishing every glass that went into that 1960's, avocado green with feux wood paneling, free standing box your grandma passed down when she sold the house you summered in all your young life and moved to a home that would, eventually, gobble up the last of your inheritance.  Well, tootsie, them days is done.  Your dishwasher can do it!  Just listen to the fine people at the CBS Early Show.  I am not making this crap up!  "Your machine needs the dirt and grime to work properly."  That's what the lady says!

So the next time your dumb husband is caught just throwing all the dishes in without rinsing, instead of correcting him and making a fool of yourself, you should think, "I married myself a freaking genius! Now if only he would blog about his energy, water, time, and money saving ideas..."

Way ahead of you, babe.

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