Showing posts with label Patrick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Patrick. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Name Dropping Like It's Hot!

Ya know, watching the Oscars was so fun, I mean, isn't Ellen just the best...that selfie?! Common!  Isn't it funny how you watch something and then you think that the people in it are sort of your friends and you kind of miss them after it's over.  It was like that selfie was stuffed full of all my dumb friends (and Lupitia's brother) who are all out having this super awesome night and I had to stay home and do Algebra...more likely they were just driving down by Utah Lake but they wanted me to think they were having a super awesome time so they were all really-hard-laughing when Bradley took the picture so I'd feel left out...well I did.



It's funny to think of Celebrities as normal people.  They don't fly or anything, they poop just like the rest of us (Meryl) and yet, they transcend.  Somehow and ridiculously they transcend.

So, in an effort to knock them down to size...or perhaps to elevate me to their level, I now present my list of celebrity interactions.  All of them true but in no particular order only that of my remembering them:


  • I saw Victor Garber shopping in a Mall in LA.
  • I sat on a the floor of a stage Cate Blanchett was performing on. (It shouldn't count but I was on the floor looking at her feet which were two feet away! Pun given and intended.)
  • I saw Frances McDormand in the lobby of that same play.
  • Also Either Joel or Ethan Coen, which ever one is married to Frances McDormand.
  • I helped Angela Lansbury pick out pillows at Pier 1.
  • I saw Sean Hayes buying a pretzel in a mall in LA and I got in line behind him and did the only thing a person can do when so extremely close...I sniffed his neck.
  • I met Jane Krakowski and her mother at a party in NYC.
  • I sang a song at Lance Bass' birthday party...he didn't seem super impressed.
  • Ryan Gosling told me I was F@#$%ing amazing after seeing me in a play I was in...he did seem super impressed.
  • I've done improv with both- Kirby Hayborn and Will Swenson...who is now married to Audra McDonald who I saw in concert once.
  • I'm in a Book Club with Lisa Valentine Clark who was listed as one of the '100 Coolest Mormon Women Alive Today' and is currently on the cover of Utah Valley Magazine...also, our book club is closed.
  • I was once at a party with Chloe Sevengy, TR Knight, Ellen Green, Mamie Gummer, Barbara Cook, Zachary QuintoGuy from ugly Betty, Andrea Martin, Sean Hayes, Kristin Chenoweth, the guy who played Will's boyfriend on Will and Grace for a little bit, Steven Schwartz (wrote Wicked) Stephanie Seymour, Cheyenne Jackson, Kelli O'hara, Mo Rocca, Lee Pace, John Stamos, Brooke Shields,Tori Spellings mom, Ace Young, Alfred Molina, and Alan Cumming... I know this because instead of doing anything else at the party I walked around with my phone and made a horribly spelled list so I would never forget never talking to these people.
  • I saw Tina Faye's back.
  • I once met Sean Hayes and told him that I sniffed his neck in a mall in LA.
  • I ripped my pants in front of Mariah Carey, who looked me up and down and then said to her two huge bodyguards, "Oh no." then crossed the street.
  • I said hello to Kate Winslet at an Anthropologie in NYC.
  • I started a fitting room for Amy Poehler at an Anthropologie in NYC.
  • I went on a date with the girl from Major Dad...only one.
  • Heath Ledger once gave my wife a knowing head nod right in front of me.
  • I got hamburgers with Kathy Griffin. 
  • Ryan Gosling came back to see my play a second time and again told me I was great using multiple expletives.
  • I chased after Ty Burrell only to catch up to him and then address his daughter by name even though we'd never met.
  • I met Sean Hayes a third time and gave him a copy of the New York Times review of a play I was in where they stated, "Livingston gave a good Sean Hayes-ian performance."
Needless to say, they are all chumps, all these people passing in and out of my life and has one...even one called me back?!!!

No.

Whatever...


Sean if you're reading this, just leave your phone number in the comments section on Facebook and I call you as soon as I can.


Oh yeah,

  • Sean Hayes asked me in front of my wife if I was straight.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Let it Grow!

As Ken stated yesterday we at Part Time Authors are diving deep into the subliminal messaging of one of the Seasons biggest hits:

Frozen






So, a few days ago this lady went off on her blog about how Frozen had a hidden "Gay Agenda".  For some reason it really got to me. Why was she hunting for the scheme in this movie.  I mean, never mind the themes that the movie was overtly targeting: a sisters love counts as 'True Love', don't use Shame as a parenting technique, Beware the prince who falls is love too fast...all of them new for Disney and great take-a-ways.  BUT, some lady, who I will not link to, went and saw this movie (three times cause her grandkids really super wanted to so who cares what kind of agenda it has), then blogged all over me about it's secret gayness.  She seemed to think that because Elsa finds out at a young age that she has powers that others don't and her parents tell her to hide them and then she finally "Let's Them Go!" it means she's a gay. Even though, at the end of the movie Elsa learns to control her "powers" (ie gayness) and is accepted right back into the kingdom, which is decidedly contrary to the Gay Agenda...I looked it up, they are not about getting themselves under control to fit back into society...even if they did get to be the Queens!  Ba-Dum-Ching!

It's not that she found Gayness where there is none...well, the snowman does have a lisp...it's the fact that while I was sitting in the movie with my daughter for the second time, I was holding back from enjoying something to find trickery.  Now, I'm sure that it happens and maybe it's even happening in this movie...hang on...it is true that the first time I saw this movie I looked like this:






But Frozen opened in November and now I look like this: 






I know?!  My hair has totally stopped being cut!  I really can't explain it...well, I COULDN'T but now things are perfectly clear.  I just...wait for it...wait for it...you know what's coming...but you still have to wait...I just...op! Not yet...here it comes....

I JUST LET IT GO!!!!

When it came time to cut my hair there was Elsa in my mind begging me to not.  So I didn't.

Disney: One.

A well groomed Mormon Man: Zero!

So, there you go.  I guess I was wrong, the Disney Villains done did me in.  Please, don't go see this movie...who knows what you will unleash!  Ken is as Fat as a house and my hair has princes climbing it every time I throw it out the window!  What ya gonna do.

Alls I want is a world where we see a children's movie and we either like it or we don't, or we love it and learn every single word to every single song and blame our vast knowledge of a princess movie on our four year old girls.

Is that too much to ask?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

My Dinner With Michelle...Obama.

So Ken started out this Valentines week writing about breakups and I got super excited to join the fray! Is there anything better then remembering when you were totally right and justified and able to conjure the exact magnificent phrase at the exact magnificent moment?! Well, there's nothing better, but that's because it doesn't happen and when it does, it's because it's fake.

For example:

Once when I was breaking up with this girl, her name was...let's say Michelle Obama, she was all, "You never take me places anymore!"  and I was all, "Really?!"  I mean, we were sitting in the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day when she hit me up.

"What more can I do?!  Here we are having a lovely night and you are complaining?"

"I didn't ask you to bring me here!  Am I some cliché ingenue in some Tom Hanks movie?!  I'm MICHELLE OBAMA, take me somewhere interesting."

She had me there.  It's true, I was on autopilot.  I had been ever since Christmas when she took me to meet her grandmother.  It was fine, she was nice, but I knew it was over. But it was the Holidays and I'm not one to make a fuss.  The truth is, I had forgotten it was Valentine's Day, and all the nice places were booked...or so I assumed, I didn't really have time to check, I just called New York and when there was a table available, I had to take it.  So what if it was sorta hokey? I was trying, which is more then I can say for Michelle.

"Is this why you wore sweats?" I asked.

"What?"

"Is this why you wore sweats...on our Valentine's date?  Are you just done with this?"

"These aren't sweats. I got them from Anthropologie."

This is what she was wearing:




"Those-are-sweats." I stated slowly and with punctuated pauses between each word. "You wear whatever shoes you want, you showed up tonight ready for a light sprint out of here, and now I know why...I don't take you places."

"I don't want to do this here."

"Are you kidding?!  I don't want to do this here?  I don't want to do this until after St. Patrick's Day."

"Of course you don't.  It's all about keeping the peace with you isn't it.  Well, I can see right through you...I saw how you were with my Grandmother!"

"What are you talking about?!!!"

"You were all weird and distant."

"Pull yourself together, Michelle, I was causal and aloof. I didn't want to seem like some nutcase who's all up in your Grandma's business."

"Are you joking right now?  Is that what you're telling me, that you didn't want my 90 year old Grandmother to think you were into her?!"

"I didn't!"

"I'm leaving. Would you hand me my coat."

"No!  You don't get to drop your bombs and walk out!  Oh, No, you get to sit there coatless while I tell you a thing or two!"

"Keep the coat."  Then she shoves her chair out and it sorta bangs into the man sitting behind her. "Oh, excuse me."  She says, but to him and not me.

"Oh yeah," I jump in, "Please don't let her chair tap interrupt your lovely dinner of listening to us scream at each other at the top of our lungs!"

I could tell the guy was embarrassed to be dragged in, but what did I care?

"You are a real jerk sometimes, Patrick, you know that...a real jerk."  Her face was flush with her own embarrassment.

"You know what, Michelle Obama...I don't think this is working out."

"Are you kidding me?"  Her forehead tilled to one side.

"No, I mean it.  I'm not going to drag this on any longer.  We're done."

"You got that right, buddy."  She came straight at me and I lifted my arms up to protect my face, but she only grabbed her coat and walked out.  She didn't look back, and she didn't pay the bill.  When you are dating Michelle Obama, then you get used to a certain lifestyle and there she was, walking out the door.  

The guy whose chair she hit started this slow clap and soon the whole restaurant was clapping. All I could do was fumble through my pockets pretending to search for a wallet I knew was on my dresser.

In the end I walked out moments after she did, only to meet her waiting for the elevator.  It was the longest 102 floors of my life.





  

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Budget Crisis



So, my wife and I are budgeting...it's fully the worst! I mean, I think a person should be able to buy whatever he wants whenever he wants regardless of his ability to pay for it right that second...or in the near future.  Luckily, I married a woman who completely agrees with me.  And now we have to budget.

The hardest part is seeing something you want, and then knowing that last month you would have just got it because you were irresponsible and rash, but this month you are know you were stealing from your children's collage funds (they better be smart!) and planning to finally buy that island before mortgage insurance gets any worse. So you put down the thing and walk away.  boo.

One night, I had just finished climbing all the way to the top of my high horse and I told my wife that she didn't need to just buy the same premium brands that she was used to buying.  "We are in Budget Mode! You need to be buying whatever is cheapest! It's all the same! Walmart just care more about us, so they mark their brands down to help us in our budgeting."

Yesterday, I was feeling like I had a bit of a stomach bug, and so I was eating gently...Chicken Noodle Soup and Saltines.  I opened the cupboard and there they were, 'Great Value Saltine Crackers' I was so proud, we were doing our part, Walmart loved us, and I got the food I wanted.

Well, after using both hands and feet to open the plastic sleeve, I noticed that the first cracker was a bit darker then I was used to, but I popped it in my mouth and dug in for a second.  Burnt. Third. Burnt. Forth. Burnt...Every single cracker was down right brown!  They looked burnt and they tasted burnt especially when you ate one after the other after the other.  It was like they went over the Nabisco's house and went through the garbage and packaged its castoffs at a 'Great Value'.

"That IS what they do!" My wife (clamoring up the side of her high horse) "That's exactly what they do! You think Nabisco can crank out one perfect cracker after the other, are you crazy?! They are not wizards! They sell the trash to someone else who sells them for cheaper then the good stuff!"

So there you have it.  I had stomach problems last night and got to eat both, burnt crackers and crow. I'm sure it was worth it...I mean, we saved 38 cents Daisy can go to collage. But what I was really hoping in writing this is you would just send me a check for a Fafillion dollars, so I can have whatever I want.  I mean, you did read this blog, that should be a fair exchange.  And while I wait for your check...who writes checks anymore, just send a white tiger in a gold helicopter with a money order...and while you do, I'll be eating Feerios for breakfast.    

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sleepwalk with Me...or Rather, Don't.






Okay, so Milo just walked by my office door and off into the night?!

I mean, okay, so about 15 minutes ago I was watching TV and I hear these soft footsteps and then they sped up and got much louder, and, since I'm sure that every house I live in is super haunted, my first thought was that the devil was slowly deciding to come for me but then he really made up his mind and started running for me.  Because Milo is small and because I was looking for the face of a eight foot demon, I didn't see Milo until he was standing right in front of me.  That's a funny thing about being a parent, sometimes your kids scare you.  Once I woke up and Daisy was standing at the end of the bed...just standing there...creepy...go to bed.

I should preface this evening with the fact that Milo, during dinner, had pointed to something in the kitchen and said, 'Shark'.  And then on our after dinner (freezing) walk he stopped and waved at nothing and said, 'Hi.'.  So...well, I mean, there you go.

So after I realized that it was my 20 month old son and NOT the devil, I was able to put him back in his crib...which he has recently figured out how to get out of with the silent stealth of a ninja. So I get him to bed and back to the couch, and a half hour later, I see Milo, footy pajamas and all, walk steadily past the living room door way, he doesn't even glance over at me.  He walks into the dinning room when I yell, 'Milo, go to bed!' and he bursts into tears.  I run over, cause I was only being stern in sort of a funny way, but my wife tells me sometimes it just comes across as being real stern. Anyway, I pick him up and I realize that me might have been sleeping and when I yelled it woke him up.

I do not want a sleep walking 2 year old.  I mean Paranormal Activity aside, he can't be walking around the house at 2:30 in the morning putting things in blenders and seeing how long his face can be in the toilet!  Now I can't sleep.  I'm the Dad and I protect if I'm asleep how can I keep him from figuring out what happens when you stick your tongue socket. So, I thought I would blog...I hadn't and I needed to, so it's good...but it's also, ya know, 10:30...midnight is coming soon and I don't know what I'm going to do...hang on, he just woke up...

So Milo really just wants his Mommy.  Isn't that sweet?!  He just loves her guts, she's been in bed for an hour cause she teaches an early class tomorrow, but his high pitched but loving scream somehow woke her right up!  They are in there now and everything seems real nice and quiet...quite quiet and quite nice...quiet...quiet and nice....well, it's very late (10:38) so I'm gonna head of to bed.  

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

January...




So January is totally the Monday of the year, right?

I mean, December is Saturday and Sunday and your Birthday and then January comes and you know, you've got another year head of you.

Another lagging winter that doesn't know when to quit paired with another fashionably late spring.

Who does Spring think she is?  It's like, we know you're coming.  We get it, you know we want you and you like an entrance, a slow growing, dumb, stinkin' entrance.

I know we are miles off from Spring, but you'd think the way we are dumping our plastics into the atmosphere we might get some early Springing in Utah...though, probably Ecuador would be dust.

My Birthday is in January, but at the beginning, I mean, I'm not one of those people who waited to the middle of the month to get myself born...can you imagine?! No, I was more of a New Years baby, which is sweet in it's way, though I do get presents wrapped in Santa Clause paper, which I find tacky.

As I sit here writing and gazing out my window there is some snow, but we're not snow covered, there is some grass, but very dead, there is some blue sky but it's mingled with toxic grey smoke that surpasses Beijing and legally dictates that I can't build a fire.

But January is only the Monday of the year, right?  There is still February and then March...The Tuesday of it all...Nothing great but it somehow escapes most the blame.

Well, I'm sorry.  It's not my fault, but still I'm sorry.  Though I do think there is something wrong with people complaining about the weather in the land where the choose to live.  It's true that it's the same year after year after year and I really hate it when people from Minnesota are all, 'It's so cold here in the winter!' and I'm all, 'Yeah, so move.' People from Minnesota really bother me when they all say that.

I guess it's the same when people from Utah complain about the weather. It really is the same every year and it's my car that's causing the inversion (though not as much as you and your SUV's, I mean I drive a Honda Fit so I'm doing what I can.)  and I love the snow in the last two weeks of December and I absolutely know there are places on earth where it's Spring all year round and even better a mild summer! But this is my home and I've made my choices and those places don't have my family or cute house or my Honda Fit...seriously they get 45 miles per gallon, I fill up maybe once a month.
     

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Chris Clark is not Black.

Oh My Gosh You Guys.

I was so Flah-ipping sick last week I could have died.  I mean, at the time I thought I was going to and then, somehow, right at the end (yesterday) I pulled it out.  I mean, it would have for sure killed you, but I'm real salubrious.

Anyway, last week everyone got to pick their favorite post from one of their fellow PTA'ers and I missed it, cause it was Christmas Eve and then I was gonna get super sick.

Ladies and Gentlemen...and by that I mean Mom and my brother Chris...let me introduce you to Topher Clark who posts on Wednesday's.





Oh, hang on, I don't think that's him...though it could be...he's an actor sometimes.




There we go!!

So Chris was born in...hold up...that's not him. If that were him he'd never wear a hat...or a shirt




There she is!!!  Now Chris was once known as "Motown Great White Hope" But that was back in '67...She was born February 1, 1946 in Santa Cruz, California, Christine Elizabeth Clark commenced her musical career early in life. “I think I sang from the time I was knee-high,” she says. “When I was in junior high school, I was working with eighth grade bands, and when I was in seventh grade, I was working with high school bands. It kind of escalated from there. But I was singing what the rest of the little white girls sang. And the problem was, when I tried to do folk, I just had a minor resonance. And I never really listened to black music. It was really odd. It was just something, I guess in my makeup. And by the time I was 15, I was working nightclubs.

WHAHHHH?!!!

That's not him.

Hang on.




Ahhh, there she is!

So here's the thing about Wednesdays on PTA. I mean, let's just calls it like it is.  Chris kills it on this blog.  I mean, people DIE over anything Chris writes, but for two reasons: It's funny. It's good.  No other reasons. Funny. Good.  He has such a natural voice that I plagiarize freely and he makes you feel like your getting the goods from someone whose got the goods.

For example:  The 2014 Oscars are coming up soon...but you need to get prepared so you should read last years ramp up:



Go a head, click the link it will pop up in another window so I'll save your place here.


*******************


I do love his movie reviews, his horoscopes and his movie reviews.  Here's a fantastic one he wrote for Les Mis

Chris' Les Mis Review

I mean, people killed puppies over that post...I did.


I am so lucky to, week after week, put my voice up with Chris and tell you all something about something...luckily, I go before him...I'd HATE to be Josh...blugh, can you imagine?!


So join us Wednesdays for Chris Clark, if not Motown's then PTA's Great White Hope!!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Best Tech and Apps of 2013

It's time for our favorite/best tech/apps/sites/stuff of 2013!

This year I made it a point to steer away from games on my devices. Nowadays I only keep one game on my iPhone. This is because I get addicted to games really easy. The one game? Ridiculous Fishing. It is fun and cute and frustrating and addicting. It's also the Game of the Year in the App Store for 2013.

Other apps I love are:

Duolingo - See Patrick's section.
Lumosity - Games that are proven to increase your memory and focus.
Audible - Part of the reason I was able to read more books this year is that I listen to them on my commute. I think that this has made me a happier and more well-rounded person.
Spotify - I don't use this app too much in my car anymore since I listen to books 90% of the time, but I do listen to it using the app on my laptop at work. Music is a huge part of my life and this gives me access to almost anything I can think of to listen to as well as helping me find new bands/artists to enjoy.

The best piece of tech I got this year was the Bose Solo sound system. We had been getting by with our TV's native volume controls which, when you watch a movie on DVD or BluRay, meant turning up the TV to its max. For some reason that is 63. Now, we have great sound for our movies and we don't have to have the closed captioning on anymore. And the sound quality is just perfect.

Chris:

Well, I don't know much about technology or science books or the french I took, but I know that I love the apps on my phone. Here are my favorites!

Akinator: It's an amazing genie that can guess any person you can think of! My kids love it, and I secretly play it when I'm bored.

Buzzfeed: 2013 was the year I stopped reading my facebook news feed. So many things irritated me about it. But now what was I supposed to read to kill time? Thank you, Buzzfeed. You saved me. I love humanity again.

Fandango: I buy movie tickets and do everything by my phone! It's space age! You guys have probably been doing this for years.

Flixster: Speaking of movies, I'm a snob. I won't go see anything with bad reviews. And I actually trust rotten tomatoes. So it's all here: movie descriptions, reviews, upcoming and show times.

Life Reminders: It literally runs my life. It's a boring little app, but man - it's changed me.

Runpee: So I know when the boring parts in movies happen and I can take a leak.

UDOT Traffic: It's all the 411 on I15. I know about accidents and stuff before I get on the freeway. And can thus plan accordingly.

Patrick:

Right now I'm real into Duolingo:




So I love to play word games on my phone on my break on my job. This app is a bunch of games, but it's teaching me French. So I have to translate what my phone is saying or I have to type it out in French. It feels like I'm playing a memory game or a spelling game but in the end I'll be buying and selling stocks on the champs de elysees!

I'm playing Letterpress but not with you.

In 2014 I am going to get super skinny, so I am on the look out for a great weight loss app...but not one that tracks how bad I'm doing, rather I would like an app where I stick my phone to my "Trouble Areas" and it sucks the fat strait into my phone...it would be nice if it then sent my fat to my enemies as a voice mail.

Ken:

I'm pretty confident in saying that I am the least technologically savvy person in the group. For most things technology, I text Josh with all my questions. (I DO know how to text. And I don't do it while I'm driving, so save the hate for somebody else.)

2013 was the year of the podcast for me. The year I started listening to stories or conversations on my commute. I generally listen to NPR's This American Life and Pop Culture Happy Hour. ALSO, for movies, I listen to my entertaining friend Eric D. Snider and his Movie B.S. podcast (with his friend Jeff Bayer). (Get it? B=Bayer and S=Snider. That's the kind of genius you come to expect with Movie B.S.)

Apps: I am still a bit of a novice with phone apps. But I do love the Flixster. It provides the Rotten Tomatoes %s and tells me movie times and even has previews! Sometimes, for funsies, I like to look up my favorite movies from my youth and see what the Rotten Tomatoes %s are. (Really, Splash? 92%?! Impressive, Tom Hanks. Apparently even more impressive than your Forrest Gump's Academy Award winning 71%. But not as good as Toy Story's 100%.)

And the thing that makes me feel like I AM tech-savvy? My Apple TV. I've had it for several years now, but I still love it. I can stream Netflix through it as well as digitizing all my movies and putting my DVDs in storage so it's at least more difficult for my kids to scratch and destroy them.

What were your favorite apps or pieces of tech this year?

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Best TV of 2013

I am tasked with writing the TV profile, because I am the most avid TV watcher of the PTA. But TV has been really, really different for me this year. I officially cut the cord and do all my TV watching now on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and iTunes. And part of that was motivated by the fact that I am less and less impressed by what Network TV has to offer. There are a few shows that I am excited to see what happens next (Parenthood, Scandal, Nashville) but not as many as there once was.

So, my top show of 2013 was Broadchurch

Even googling images from this show made me emotional

Broadchurch was on the BBC earlier in the year and now can be had on iTunes for about $20. In British fashion it is only 8 episodes long and tells the story of a small, English, seaside town where a young boy is found murdered on the beach. It's about the investigation that follows, and because the town is so small, it's also about the impact that that investigation has on everyone in town. It's one of those places where literally everyone knows everyone else. The finale was like a gut punch and I couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks.

Other shows I loved this year: Breaking Bad: A satisfying finish to the series that was a modern day Shakespearian tragedy. The Returned: I blogged about this before. It's French, it's terrifying and it's awesome. Orange is the New Black: so smart and funny and original and SO rated R. So do not watch this show and then send me angry emails. Scandal: I was late to this bandwagon, but devoured the first three seasons in about a week. So campy and insane and fun to watch.


Ken's picks

Thanks to the miracle of Netflix and a lackluster TV line up this fall, I'm watching very few current TV programs, but enjoying a few series of yester-year (Cheers, West Wing). 

My loyalties are still with Parks & Rec, though I am upset with the way NBC is treating this gem of a show. It is consistently funny and entertaining. 


I also occasionally tune in to The Goldbergs because A) If Wendi McClendon-Covey, who plays Becky Goldberg, ever died, my dear friend Lisa Valentine Clark could step right in and America would never miss a beat. They wouldn't even know. And B) I always enjoy a throwback to the 80s. That being said, this show drives me absolutely out of my mind with its inconsistencies. Hey Goldbergs, the 1980s did not happen IN ONE YEAR! When the son references this new Rubik's Cube (1980) while he's dressed as a Ghostbuster (1984) and watching Alf in the afternoon with his brother (never happened), I scream to myself, "Is ANYONE working on this show even TRYING?!" 1987 was NOT the same year as 1981. I assure you. I was there. I tried wearing Parachute Pants in 1987. It did not go well. 


Topher's picks:



I watched a lot of TV this year by my own standards, but I'm a loser within the PTA ranks. My TV selections are admittedly strange and I can't really help it. I like what I like. So here's what brought me to the boob tube in 2013:

Game of Thrones. Lisa and I started with seasons one and two this year, and holy crap. Holy, holy crap. I'm addicted. Even though I have to look up every episode online after I watch it to make sure I understood it. Yes, even though that. The acting, writing, and art direction are mind blowing. You can skip all the sexy parts, it's ok. 

My other favorites:

Parks and Recreation
Mad Men
Nashville (I still watch it!)
The Americans
Bates Motel
Orange is the New Black

Patrick's picks:

Why is Hatty in this picture? She hasn't been on the show for like 20 years. 

Parenthood...it's Parenthood. I died. I watched all the back seasons on Netflix (only 3...maybe 4) then hopped over to Hulu for the current season (Kristina as the Mayor, bleh, but real into Ray Romano...I KNOW?!)  

My wife would say Scandal.  She tore through them so fast I couldn't keep up, so then I refused to watch them and now I'm in the dark.

Still loving The Mindy Project and New Girl.

Sad about: Happy Endings...though it's nice to see it's actors farmed out to The Mindy Project and New Girl.

Stopped watching Nashville, but I feel bad about it.

Dove in to: Orange is the New Black but I can NOT tell you to watch it, it's super filthy and your kids will walk in at just the wrong spot and you'll blame Part Time Authors...so please don't watch this amazing show whose next season comes out early next year...which is in a week.

Did not want to watch but then it hooked me:  House of Cards.  When I heard that Kevin Spacey was going to talk to me in my living room about his schemes in Washington DC I was reminded of the first season of Sex in the City where, if you watch it now you're all like, "Oh, Carrie, don't do that....you're better then this, just live your life and act like I'm not here."  But when Kevin Spacey does it...I die over it!  It's like I'm part of his team...no, gang...yeah, I am getting the inside scoop and it's just me and him and Robbin Wright taking over America!!! 

Brett:

It's hard for me to pick a favorite show this year. But I think, for its penetration into all of pop culture, its near panic-attack-inducing pace and story, its ability to create conversation like nothing else, my favorite drama is Breaking Bad. My favorite comedy is The Wrong Mans, a little British export on HuluPlus. This show is funny, sweet, action packed, and has a cliffhanger almost every episode. It's about two guys who work in an office and accidentally get thrown into a murder, mob, spy, robber thing and bumble their way through it. Please check it out so we can talk about it?


Here's my top 10 list of dramas and comedies with an honorable mention thrown in for good measure:



Dramas Comedies
1. Breaking Bad
2. Justified
3. The Americans
4. Top of the Lake
5. Luther
6. Orphan Black
7. Broadchurch
8. House of Cards
9. In the Flesh
10. Elementary

Honorable Mention: Sleepy Hollow
1. The Wrong Mans
2. Parks and Recreation
3. New Girl
4. Brooklyn 99
5. Mindy Project
6. Bob’s Burgers
7. Moone Boy
8. South Park
9. Happy Endings
10. Regular Show

Honorable Mention: Modern Family  

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013: PTA's year in movies!

Topher:

Hey all! Time for the 2013 PTA movie round up! I thought it was a pretty good year for movies.  Anyway, it was better than last year. Here are my top 10 movies of the year!




1. Gravity. This was one of the most stunning and perfectly crafted movies ever made. I don't know that I've ever had this immersive of an experience in a movie theatre. I felt like I was in space. I wanted to throw up. It was amazing. I genuinely think this movie is a masterpiece.

rounding out my top ten...

2. Before Midnight: the best written and acted movie in years.
3. American Hustle: style and substance.
4. Nebraska: Bleak, funny, touching.
5. Blue Jasmine: Cate Blanchett is astonishing.
6. Saving Mr. Banks: Made me cry.
7. The Heat: Super funny on a day that I needed it.
8. The Bling Ring: Really overlooked - but an amazing commentary on our times.
9. The Saratov Approach: A solidly crafted film by some great and talented friends.
10. Blancanieves: Rent this right now! The Spanish Snow White.


Ken:

I love when going to the movies feels like an EVENT! I know you know what I mean. When you've
walked out of the movie theater and your perception of movies is heightened, you notice your senses have been to a party, etc. I remember feeling that when I was 6 years old and went with my family to see Star Wars. I remember that in the original Superman. In Raiders of the Lost Ark. In Jurassic Park. And this year, in Gravity. I saw it in 3D, and then in 2D. And I am not a big proponent of 3D…but man….in 3D, it was an EVENT. 

Like the rest of the world, I also was captivated by Captain Phillips - especially Tom Hanks' performance in the last few minutes of the film. Admittedly, there are a number of films I have not seen yet. But I will be controversial and state for the record that while I loved the sister-theme and songs in Frozen, I am still more partial to Tangled. Throw things at me if you must. 


Josh:

I'm sure that for my best movie of the year I should be picking something deep and thinky like Inside Llewlyn: Osage County or something directed by someone famous that is really long and dramatic and has lots of swearing and is probably set in the 70s or 80s with crazy costumes. But I am just too, too tired to see movies like that. I want my movies to be short, entertaining, and preferably TV shows. So for my money, the best movie of the year was The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. I think the movie did a good job of not just dissolving to an action fest, but exploring, on a Hunger Games appropriate level the idea of revolution and change. And I thought it was fun to see how many ways the movie tried to pretend that Josh Hutcherson isn't 4'9" and could LITERALLY ride on my shoulders all day without tiring me out. 

Just so you don't think I am a total pop-corn movie junkie, I also loved The Spectacular Now which I don't think anyone else on earth saw. It's about a boy and girl, approaching the end of high school and the boys refusal to grow up and face adulthood. It's charming and entertaining and has some great, believable performances. And it has Kyle Chandler as a dead beat, which is always fun to see. 

Also on the list: Frozen, The Conjuring and Gravity. Thus concludes the list of every movie I saw this year. 

Patrick:

Admittedly, I'm the dad of two kids under four.  So it's gotta go to Frozen.  But my reasoning is shallow and selfish: One, there is some mean singing in this show...B'way Style...


I love Belle from B&tB, but Idina would eat her for breakfast. 

Also, I love Kristen Bell, but only really because of Ronnie Mars...but I thought she was real good and had to sing next to Idina Menzel and so she did.

I did see 12 Years a Slave...it was heart breaking and too much for me to take ever again...but you should see it.  It's real and painful, a true story and one we should remember.  The movie is hard to watch for all the reasons you think it will be, but the amount of time spent beautifully dragging out things that were dragged out in real life is so powerful and effective.

One more thing:  The best thing on Netfix right now is: Black Fish.  
I don't know what happened but this Documentary about the Killer Whale that killed that trainer at SeaWorld...and ultimately it's about SeaWorld its self rocked me to my core. It made me question how I treat my dog.  It's only an hour and 20 mins and everyone should watch it...though it would put SeaWorld out of business..but it would create a booming whale watching business where we all take our kids to see these incredible (smarter then human...they have an extra part in their brain) animals in their natural habitat.    

Brett:

If I go off of pure event film experiences, I'm with Ken. It's got to be Gravity. I saw it in IMAX 3D and it completely engrossed me.

But overall, I think I still have to go with A Place Beyond the Pines for the top honor. It's different than anything I've seen because of the way the stories are told. The soundtrack was hauntingly juxtaposing. Great performances from Gosling and Cooper. The story really hit me where my longing for past youth and freedom intersects with the honor and pride of fatherhood.

Another one of my favorites was World War ZMy favorite action movie of the year so far. And that's what it is. Don't be fooled. It's a political action thriller. Not a zombie movie. It launches you right in with one of the most gripping first 20 minutes ever and then takes you on an exploratory journey of moral, political, domestic, and ethical considerations. If you've read the book, it's not the book. But it still does the flavor of the book justice.

Honorable mentions: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Saving Mr. Banks, American Hustle, The World's End, The Conjuring, The Heat, Anchorman 2, The Saratov Approach, Byzantium, and Frances Ha.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 Best Books!

So I am so glad to share with you what we think are the best books of 2013...not that they were published in 2013, but that we read in 2013.

PATRICK:

These are the books you should read this year. I don't want to spoil them or give you too much...so I'll give you a picture, and the feeling of the book, then it's up to you.


Night Film 
by: Marisha Pessl
SUPER DUPER SCARY.



The Night Circus
by: Erin Morgenstern

So evoking, imaginative, dark and magical.


The Ocean At The End Of The Lane
by: Neil Gaiman

Sort of Dark...sort of, Pretty...sort of, a coming of age story...sort of, beautiful...not sort of.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette
by: Maria Semple

Uh SO GOOD! Funny. Fun. Read it.




CHRIS:

I'm always such a curmudgeon about books. I can't get into fiction. I try all the time, and my 2014 resolution is to try harder. But I did read some fantastic non-fiction this year:



 1. The City of Falling Angels, by John Berendt. The mysterious burning of the Fenice Opera House in Venice. 

2. The Searchers: The Making of an American Legend, by Glenn Frankel. The making of the 1956 John Ford western, as well as the controversial story that inspired it.

3. Majestie, by David Teems. A fascinating and witty look at the king behind the King James Bible.

4. Spook, by Mary Roach. Written by the same author as Stiff, here she looks at ghosts, paranormal activity, and the afterlife. You know I love that stuff.

5. Untouchable, by Randall Sullivan. The strange, strange life and tragic, tragic death of Michael Jackson.

6. Alix and Nicky, by Virginia Rounding. A dramatic and intense look at the last Tsar and Tsarina of Russia.

But, and this will shock my PTA mates, I did read a little fiction!

1. The Apostle, by Sholem Asch (Because I played Paul for the New Testament series and I needed to know what he was about.)

2. Ragtime, by EL Doctorow (Because I directed it.)



3. Hawaii, by James Michener (Because I went there and I fell in love with it.)

JOSH:

I think I've already written about 7 posts with book recommendations this year, so I'll keep it simple. When I peruse my Goodreads list of books I've read, one really jumped out at me as a book that made me think and haunted me for weeks after I read it and it was...



 The Tree House by Douglas Thayer. Doug Thayer was a writing professor at BYU, and while I never took a class from him I did take a couple from his wife. This book is the story of a mormon boy growing up in Provo, Utah around the time of World War II. It's not preachy or didactic at all, even though it is clearly about mormonism and missionaries. The protagonist, Harris is interesting and noble but also flawed and realistic. It's truly a masterwork. 

Honorable Mention goes to Dracula by Bram Stoker. What? You've never heard of it? Yes, I'm sure you already knew this book was great. But I have a "condition" I like to call the "Dawson's Creek Syndrome" which means that I have a hard time consuming any media that was produced before 1998. I just can't read Jane Austen. Or Dickens. Or watch Bringing Up Baby even though Chris tried to make me and all I remember is that Katherine Hepburn was born on the side of a hill and I think there was a dinosaur. Or is that a totally different movie from the 80s called baby about people who raise a brontosaurus? I don't know. But my point is is that this October I listened to the audiobook of Dracula (read by Alan Cumming and Tim Curry and many more) and it was spooky and smart and terrifying and amazing. I loved it.





And my guilty pleasure was The Memory of Light by Brandon Sanderson and Robert Jordan. I wrote about this series (The Wheel of Time) last year which I started reading when I was 15 years old. The Memory of Light was the conclusion and it was everything the finale to a big, giant, epic fantasy series should be. Satisfying, exciting, question-answering and emotional. I loved it. I want to read it again.



BRETT:

Of the books I read this year, here are the best and/or most impactful/memorable of the list:




Pronto by Elmore Leonard
I love the TV show "Justified" so I wanted to trace the character roots of Raylan Givens to his origination. This is the first book the marshal appears in and it's quite entertaining if you like books about Florida, the Mob, double-deals, Italy, and ... Federal Marshals who are flawed and brilliant. I guess you could list this as my Guilty Pleasure.

“She wondered what he looked like with his hat off and wondered again if he knew he was funny.” 

Dust and Shadow: An Account of the Ripper Killings by Dr. John H. Watson by Lyndsay Faye
Ever since I first heard about Jack the Ripper, I've been fascinated with the story and maddened by the fact that it remains unsolved. I've also admired the character Sherlock Holmes and his incomparable brilliance. Naturally, then, this book—where Holmes is enlisted to help solve the Ripper case—was perfect for me in many ways.

"Besides, Watson,” he added, with a glint of humor in his grey eyes, “you, after all, are a man of the world. We must put your skills to use, for there is no greater tragedy on God's green earth than that of untapped talent.” 

No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
I'd seen the movie and the book still got my heart racing. There's something about the suspense that this book creates, even if you already know the ending. And that ending. Reading it makes so much more sense than the movie. So glad I read it.

“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.” 

City of Thieves by David Benioff
I tried to read it once and stopped 10 minutes into it. I came back to it and it hooked me. Something about two young WWII-era Russians sent on an impossible mission behind enemy lines that makes you thankful for central heating.

“The fire was silent, the little houses collapsing into the flames without complaint, flocks of sparks rising to the sky. At a distance it seemed beautiful, and I thought it was strange that powerful violence is often so pleasing to the eye...”

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
It's a beast. It's so wide. Vast. There is so much happening and so many characters to love and to hate. And all the while you're being pelted with bits of useful philosophy you can use in your own life. I've never read anything like it.

“You can be shaped, or you can be broken. There is not much in between. Try to learn. Be coachable. Try to learn from everybody, especially those who fail. This is hard. ... How promising you are as a Student of the Game is a function of what you can pay attention to without running away.” 

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
This book. My eye sockets were red and dry after this thing got done with me. This may sound dramatic but it's an experience that I can't really put into words. If you think you've seen all you can see or read about WWII, then read this.

“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.” 

The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell
If you fancy yourself a storyteller, this is required reading. But it's also just packed with wisdom.

“I don't think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I've never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.” 

The Brothers K by David James Duncan
At the top of the list of my favorite books. It's funny. It's tragic. It's infuriating. It's brilliant. It's about a family that, by the end, becomes as real as any family you've ever known. That's perfect writing.

“I wish there really was such a thing as a Time-Clock Puncher, though. I wish some gigantic, surly, stone-fisted Soap Mahoney-type guy went around the world smashing every clock in sight till there weren't any more and people got so confused about when to go to the mill or school or church that they gave up and did something interesting instead.” 

KEN:

I am not as well read as Brett. Or anybody else reading this. Though I probably read more contemporary fiction this year than ever before.



I really enjoyed John Green's The Fault in Our Stars. John Green is just a clever, clever writer. While reading it I just kept thinking, "How did he come up with THAT line" or "That's movie dialogue, right there." I cast the movie in my mind while I read it. I appreciated the humor with with which he approached this heart-wrenching subject of youth with cancer. It was really a wonderful read.





The book that stayed with me for some time after I read it, however, was M.L. Stedman's The Light Between Oceans. It was the last few pages of this book that just wrecked me. The description on the inside of the book: 

After four harrowing years on the Western Front, Tom Sherbourne returns to Australia and takes a job as the lighthouse keeper on Janus Rock, nearly half a day’s journey from the coast. To this isolated island, where the supply boat comes once a season, Tom brings a young, bold, and loving wife, Isabel. Years later, after two miscarriages and one stillbirth, the grieving Isabel hears a baby’s cries on the wind. A boat has washed up onshore carrying a dead man and a living baby.

Tom, who keeps meticulous records and whose moral principles have withstood a horrific war, wants to report the man and infant immediately. But Isabel insists the baby is a “gift from God,” and against Tom’s judgment, they claim her as their own and name her Lucy. When she is two, Tom and Isabel return to the mainland and are reminded that there are other people in the world. Their choice has devastated one of them.
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