Name Dropping Like It's Hot!

Ya know, watching the Oscars was so fun, I mean, isn't Ellen just the best...that selfie?! Common!  Isn't it funny how you watch something and then you think that the people in it are sort of your friends and you kind of miss them after it's over.  It was like that selfie was stuffed full of all my dumb friends (and Lupitia's brother) who are all out having this super awesome night and I had to stay home and do Algebra...more likely they were just driving down by Utah Lake but they wanted me to think they were having a super awesome time so they were all really-hard-laughing when Bradley took the picture so I'd feel left out...well I did.

It's funny to think of Celebrities as normal people.  They don't fly or anything, they poop just like the rest of us (Meryl) and yet, they transcend.  Somehow and ridiculously they transcend.

So, in an effort to knock them down to size...or perhaps to elevate me to their level, I now present my list of celebrity interactions.  All of them true but in no particular order only that of my remembering them:

• I saw Victor Garber shopping in a Mall in LA.
• I sat on a the floor of a stage Cate Blanchett was performing on. (It shouldn't count but I was on the floor looking at her feet which were two feet away! Pun given and intended.)
• I saw Frances McDormand in the lobby of that same play.
• Also Either Joel or Ethan Coen, which ever one is married to Frances McDormand.
• I helped Angela Lansbury pick out pillows at Pier 1.
• I saw Sean Hayes buying a pretzel in a mall in LA and I got in line behind him and did the only thing a person can do when so extremely close...I sniffed his neck.
• I met Jane Krakowski and her mother at a party in NYC.
• I sang a song at Lance Bass' birthday party...he didn't seem super impressed.
• Ryan Gosling told me I was F@#$%ing amazing after seeing me in a play I was in...he did seem super impressed.
• I've done improv with both- Kirby Hayborn and Will Swenson...who is now married to Audra McDonald who I saw in concert once.
• I'm in a Book Club with Lisa Valentine Clark who was listed as one of the '100 Coolest Mormon Women Alive Today' and is currently on the cover of Utah Valley Magazine...also, our book club is closed.
• I was once at a party with Chloe Sevengy, TR Knight, Ellen Green, Mamie Gummer, Barbara Cook, Zachary Quinto, Guy from ugly Betty, Andrea Martin, Sean Hayes, Kristin Chenoweth, the guy who played Will's boyfriend on Will and Grace for a little bit, Steven Schwartz (wrote Wicked) Stephanie Seymour, Cheyenne Jackson, Kelli O'hara, Mo Rocca, Lee Pace, John Stamos, Brooke Shields,Tori Spellings mom, Ace Young, Alfred Molina, and Alan Cumming... I know this because instead of doing anything else at the party I walked around with my phone and made a horribly spelled list so I would never forget never talking to these people.
• I saw Tina Faye's back.
• I once met Sean Hayes and told him that I sniffed his neck in a mall in LA.
• I ripped my pants in front of Mariah Carey, who looked me up and down and then said to her two huge bodyguards, "Oh no." then crossed the street.
• I said hello to Kate Winslet at an Anthropologie in NYC.
• I started a fitting room for Amy Poehler at an Anthropologie in NYC.
• I went on a date with the girl from Major Dad...only one.
• Heath Ledger once gave my wife a knowing head nod right in front of me.
• I got hamburgers with Kathy Griffin. 
• Ryan Gosling came back to see my play a second time and again told me I was great using multiple expletives.
• I chased after Ty Burrell only to catch up to him and then address his daughter by name even though we'd never met.
• I met Sean Hayes a third time and gave him a copy of the New York Times review of a play I was in where they stated, "Livingston gave a good Sean Hayes-ian performance."

Needless to say, they are all chumps, all these people passing in and out of my life and has one...even one called me back?!!!

No.

Whatever...


Sean if you're reading this, just leave your phone number in the comments section on Facebook and I call you as soon as I can.


Oh yeah,

• Sean Hayes asked me in front of my wife if I was straight.

Rating 2013's movies (I've seen) so far

Author's note: There may or may not be spoilers in some of these.

Warm Bodies
One of the most creative zombie movies ever. Funny, clever, touching, with a hint of Romeo and Juliet. It gets 3 legs and an arm.

The Place Beyond the Pines
The best movie of the year so far. It's different than anything I've seen. The soundtrack was hauntingly juxtaposing. Great performances. The story really hit me where my longing for past youth and freedom intersects with the honor and pride of fatherhood. I want to see it four more times. 4 Goslings and a Cooper.




Parker
Crisp and by-the-book but not great. How many times has Jason Statham played this guy? I never give any thought to Statham yet he is starring in four franchises as of 2013: Transporter, Crank, Expendables, and now Fast and Furious. He's the king of third-tier action movies and, it turns out, I have a weakness for those. I give Parker 2 bullets.

Oz the Great and Powerful
So much went right and so much went wrong. I really liked Michelle Williams and the way Rami matched a lot of the feel and formula of the original. I didn't mind the scorned lover angle. My biggest problem with this movie was the glossiness of it and James Franco, who I love in the right role, i.e., Pineapple Express. It gets 2 balloons and a horse of a different color.

The Host
Ugh. The worst voice-over mind thoughts acting in the history of ever. The look of the movie was really great though, I thought. The story ... meh. I can usually find something in a movie to like. It was really hard here but not the worst movie I've seen. 1.5 glowing irises.

Jack the Giant Slayer
There was a point I fell asleep. It was a lunch matinee. I was tired. Still, I think more people should have seen this. It was a pretty good time except where I fell asleep. 2 and a quarter NoDoz.

G.I. Joe Retaliation
There's nothing G.I. Joe here. Nothing. Except the Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow parts. Still, as an action movie, it had its moments. But, what a waste of a franchise this turned out to be. 2 "Yo"s and no "Joes".

Oblivion
This movie. What a boring first half. What an exciting second half and finale! Oh, but then Cruise delivers a gratuitous "Eff" at a climatic moment and my eyes rolled out of my head and into my Coke. 2 clones and a Morgan Freeman.

Evil Dead
Not too scary. Very horrifying. Comically bloody. 3 jugulars and a toe.

Fast and Furious 6
In a world where I pretend there's only been three of these movies (1, 5, and 6), 6 wasn't as good as the other two because what they got right in 5 didn't translate to 6 in the story and acting department. Everyone takes themselves soooooooo seriously in 6. But amazing action sequences saved it. And the runway at the end is 26 miles long. 2 and 3/4 tanks of nitrous.

Iron Man 3
My least favorite of the three. I guess it probably ties with 2. I don't know. There were so many good things and while watching I was having a blast. But afterward I sort of feel like it fizzled out. Partly because my expectations were so high and partly because I didn't really want to see it again, which is normally my mark of a great film. Still, 3 mandarin oranges.

Star Trek Into Darkness
Same problems here as with Iron Man 3. I wanted it to blow me away and make me want to see it three times. It didn't. It's still better than a lot of sci-fi films but ... not even close to the best action movie of the summer. 3 "Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhnns!"

The Great Gatsby
What a gorgeous movie. I'm glad I saw it in 3D (it was shot that way). Maybe too slick at times but better than I thought it would be. Catherine Martin, Leo, and F. Scott Fitzgerald are the reasons this movie succeeds at all. 2 sweet cars and 3/4 of a flapper girl.

Epic
No one saw this. It's a shame because it's at least equal to the other animated films of the first half of the year. The "message" is a little heavy-handed but it was fun, cute, and really nice to look at. Oh, Beyonce's voice was not the right choice for the woodland queen lady, I'm sorry. 2 and 1/2 three-legged pugs.

The Purge
My wife had the idea for a similar premis like two years ago. Her movie would have been better. The idea of this film seems great, you get 12 hours of legalized crime, including murder. What are the moral implications? Political? Who would participate? But it simply turns into a home invasion movie. Yawn. Although, there's some good moments, it wasn't good overall. 2 shotguns.

Man of Steel
Eric Snider can explain exactly how I feel about this film here. Or another author can here. Good film overall. Could have been great. I will say that I loved the Krypton parts and the stuff with Costner. 3 speeding bullets and 1/2 a locomotive.

World War Z
My favorite action movie of the year so far. And that's what it is. Don't be fooled. It's a political action thriller. Not a zombie movie. It launches you right in with one of the most gripping first 20 minutes I've seen in a long time and then takes you on an exploratory journey of moral, political, domestic, and ethical considerations. If you've read the book, it's not the book. But it still does the flavor of the book justice. I thought it was great and I want to see it again soon. 4/5 stars. B+.

This is the End
Hilarious. Crude. Over the top. Too long. Michael Cera as you've never seen (or have wanted to see) him before. 3 Twinkies.

Monsters University
Better than Cars and Cars 2. But that's about it. Pixar can't make a bad movie (well, I never even saw Cars 2) so this was a lot of fun. I laughed a lot and so did my kids. 2 Monsters and a 1/2 an Inc.

The Heat
I can't decide if this or This is the End is better. They both were hilarious. I guess I give the edge to this because it was smarter and a little less mean. The chemistry between Bullock and McCarthy is fun to watch. 3 sandwiches.

The Lone Ranger
Sit through a slow, dark, somehow silly two hours and you are rewarded with a really fun, exciting, true-ish to the original, 26 minutes. 2 silver bullets and a half ass.

What do you think? How's this year's movies been treating you? What else should I have seen?