It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...Already.

So there you are, 9:30 at night and you realize you need a cup of sugar.  You could ask you neighbor but it's late and you hate them so you head to target.  You are wandering around the Home Decor section because you remember your sister-in-law's cousin pined these chevron candle sticks that you think might be on sale now that Halloween is over and before you know it, you realize that you are standing in the middle of a winter wonderland, complete with actual snow and Jewel singing "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear".  And you huff out in distain, "CHRISTMAS?!!  Already? That is disgusting!  Disgraceful!  Stores bring this crap out earlier and earlier just to make a buck well, I won't have it!" So you pull out your phone and update you status to the tune of "Those brash capitalist money grubbers!  Christmas right after Halloween?  What about Thanksgiving?!  Disgusting!  Disgraceful!"  and all your friends 'like' you in agreement and update similar statuses which are 'liked' by similar friends who update their status which are 'liked' forever and ever, amen.

So, you've done your part so you turn to leave and there you see it.  The small sign that says 'Holiday Decor 25% off'.  You pause for a moment and look at the offering and it's all disgusting and disgraceful but there are these adorable boiled wool ornaments of ballerina mice that your daughter will love and she'll pull out year after year to hang on the tree and she will name them and assign each one to a different member of the family and she will tell her own children, your grandchildren, about the Christmases she had at home hanging these mice by their tales in your flocked tree (you saw it on Pintrest and it's super coming back) and those grandchildren will gather in you lawyers office the week after you die, all of them holding each other grieving your loss, but also shooting sideways glances at each other each of them wondering the same question...who's gonna get Grandma's Christmas Mice...and they are 25% off.  So, you take the set, because, you justify, they will be gone by this weekend and you want to pick the ones with the cute faces and not be stuck with the leftovers at 2:00 am on Black Friday.

Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Swipe.

and you are on your way.  You pause for a moment at a stop light to check your phone and you get that twinge of excitement over seeing so many comments/likes over your 'Save Thanksgiving' status.


Well, let me tell you sweetheart.  Josh and I work retail, and if you are disgusted then just picture us, two months ago getting our Holiday Binders with plan-o-grams and concepts and holiday 'raps' ready to have a smooth roll out for Christmas on November 1st! Both of us thinking, it can't be time already?! Really?!  Didn't we just do this?!

AND YET....

There it goes, November 1st, and with it, baskets full of Christmas Loot leaving with a smiling customer who quips quips about the early bird and worms and such.

We sell it.

Every year earlier, every year more of it.

Josh's store has even started opening on Thanksgiving day (a terrifying trend) and you know what?! They make scads of money. You better believe if I'm the fat cat sitting on top of a huge company, home on Thanksgiving with my family, but my marriage was a little shaky this year and my wife thinks I don't appreciate her the way I did when we were dating, so I think I will get her a little something extra for Christmas and that something extra should probably be a yacht, then yeah, I'm gonna open on Thanksgiving, because people, even people with inscrutable commitment to tradition and the season, will shop, they will hand over fists full of cash to be able to have first.

Several years ago, I worked at a retailer in Orem, Utah who relocated its store to another part of Orem, Utah and part of the relocation was that we would be open on Sundays.  We whined and begged but the Company, based out of California, knew best and we were open on Sundays.  Years later, and just last Sunday, I drove by that store and it was closed for the day.  No one shopped.  The store didn't make enough money to keep the lights on and pay the employees and the company was loosing money and companies HATE to loose money so they closed, just for the day, because it made the most business cents (that's right).

So this is the world we have, it was given to us by our parents who lived on farms and had to hand make their Christmas decorations and chop down their Christmas Trees and the entire family budget for Christmas was an orange, and they took turns opening four handmade presents, two of which were a separated pair of crocheted socks and they were grateful, so grateful, in fact, they closed all the stores on Thanksgiving so they could all sit around a table and tell each other who thankful they were of all that they had and so the people who worked in the stores could to the same! And for one day in November the country gathered and reminisced and laughed late late into the night, because no one had to get up very early the next morning.    

Finding Fall

This morning it rained.  I have been out of town and it was so nice to be home and look into the faces of the people I love the very most in the world.  My wife and I super love the Fall, so when it rained we donned we now our harvest apparel and headed out to do the most fall of activities...school shopping. Now, our daughter is three.  She is going to be attending Pre School for two days a week at three hours a time.  She needed new clothes. Buckets of them. So there we were...at the mall...sweatered and buying more sweaters when the sun broke through the clouds and scorched the last of the mums off our porch.

I guess what the sun was saying is, "Sit down, it's not Fall yet."  We had to come home and every member of the family had a costume change.  Shorts back on, corduroy back in the drawer.

I love living in a place where there are four seasons. We haven't always and it is something that I have come to appreciate.  But our excitement for the up coming Fall is palpable.  We just moved and we now live in a Fall Disney setting: in the mountains, covered with broad-leafed trees, on a collage campus. If you were to go to Wal-Mart and have your picture taken in the photo studio, they would pull down a back drop and our house would be in it. We can not wait.

Fall food is the most comforting.

Fall fashion is the most interesting.

Fall colors are the most flattering to my autumnal complexion.

Fall has the best Holidays: Halloween and Thanksgiving, yes winter has Christmas and New Years, but it needs them or we'd all go skating off a cliff by January 2nd.

Fall has back to school and with it the promise of reinvention (with a wardrobe to support my new self)

I guess I woke up ready for the season to begin and the lingering summer had other plans, but it's fine, I can wait...I'm just going to do it with the AC cranked all the way up so I can sit next to my crackling fire.    

Mothers and Daughters...a Man's Perpective

So, here'e the deal, I'm not a Mom and I'm not a daughter; as a matter of fact, I don't have any sisters, so I didn't even grow up around daughters. I do have a daughter now and there literally isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. But the other day, at my work (I sell cute dresses and cookie jars and stuff) a mother and daughter came in.  That's not that interesting, mothers and daughters come in a lot, and this trip was not anything out of the ordinary; I think they were buying a graduation dress, so that should give you a context for age.  They were sharing a fitting room (no big deal) and the associates (two of them) were scurrying around finding the cutest dresses or cookie jars or what ever they wanted.  As the visit went on I started to notice a pattern in our dress searching...

"She's got a large rib cage so she needs a size 8."

"She doesn't really like to show the top parts of her arms so she'll need sleeves."

"Her chest is overdeveloped so we'll want to minimize that area."

A few things to note here:

One, the daughter was MAYBE a size 4, but probably a 2.

Two, The daughter didn't speak once. As far as I heard, not once.

Three, the Mother was a very nice lady.  She was not being "That" kind of mom.  She really did think she had her daughter's best interest at heart.  That's why I noticed it, she wasn't being a "B word", she was being thoughtful and they were out buying the daughter a graduation dress (which, I might add, would have a full-blown maroon tent over it, so what does it matter if her overdeveloped chest is minimized?!) and they both seemed like they were having a good time.  Really, both of them! Though, I will say, it really affected the two associates who were helping them. Each one, on their own, came to me and asked me to pop by the fitting room and let this daughter know how great she looked.  Which I did and I didn't even have to embellish, she was real cute, though, even some guy like me could tell, she didn't know it.  Somehow this cute girl with a nice mom grew up knowing several things about herself, (Me = Large Rib Cage, Hide the Top of My Arms, Too Big Boobs (or Two, I suppose)) but not the one true thing, she's cute.  She was one of the cute girls.

Maybe I'm reading a lot into one afternoon.  Maybe it was an off day.  Maybe the daughter had just yelled at her mom in J Crew that she didn't like her arms, boobs, or rib cage and if she has to bring it up again she's going home.  Daughters are not blameless.  I could easily write a post about the abused mothers that come into my store.  But, as I said, it was the two associates who got me thinking.

One of them said to me, "You know, daughters hear every word their mothers say.  Some buy into it more then others, but we all hear every word."

I tried to say it was the same for fathers, but they would have none of it.

"It's not the same for fathers, or even boys, it's all different from what other girls think...starting with their mother."

I guess that's what brought me here.  I genuinely don't like to find out I have less power over my kids than other people...even my wife.  But no matter how I try to teach my daughter that she is a smart, clever, funny, thoughtful, kind, straight up amazing girl, if she doesn't buy it from her mother, she will never buy it.

My daughter is lucky and my wife does such an amazing job, but, then again, this mother in the fitting room would die if she knew this post was about her. She really did appear to have good relationship with her daughter, aside from the passive abuse, but they were out together and they would talk to each other inside the fitting room. But growing a self esteem is not something that can be checked off in an afternoon or really ever finished, it's consistant stance that doesn't chip away or tamp down or hold back.  It's can't be faked and it won't be easily won, so let this be a reminder to all you mothers of daughters out there (and there are a lot of you) when she sees herself, she first looks through your eyes.  

What Santa's Workshop Looks Like

Do you share your home with young souls that currently have visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads? (And by “young souls” I mean children. And by “sugarplums” I mean presents. And by “heads” I mean bee’s nests.)

Well, from now on your troubles will be miles away, my friend – MILES a way. Have I got a magical place for you! It’s called Blickenstaff’s; and a finer toy store you will not find in all of Utah and possibly the universe.

 

What’s kind of cool about Blickenstaff’s is that while you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a toy store nowadays, Blickenstaff’s carries hundreds of toys and candy items that cannot be found in the big box stores. Original and often vintage toys and candy. And I love that they have many of the toys actually out of the boxes, so you and your kids can get a hands-on experience with them to see if you like what you're buying.

Last year we nabbed one of these gems that almost 12 months later is still played with like it’s fresh out from under the Christmas Tree. Watch this video and be amazed at how cool it looks despite the obnoxious voice over.

Know what one of the most popular items is for this holiday season? I already asked for you. I was told that it’s this:

It’s called Spot It, and it’s selling like crazy-cakes. I bought one on the spot – on the spot! My kids have been playing it non-stop. I don’t know how to play it yet, because I’m too busy writing blog posts to sit down and do that. But I hear lots of laughter behind me as I type away.

We recently went to the Blickenstaff’s in Provo and as we walked outside, into the beautifully well-lit Riverwoods, there was Santa, just sitting there by a fire. My four year old, Becca, ran up onto his lap. This was their discussion, and I’m not making this up.

Santa: What would you like for Christmas, Becca?

Becca: Everything inside Blickenstaff’s.

Santa didn't respond, because evidently, when you’re Santa, that mantle comes with the gift of restraint. He just laughed like a bowl full of jelly as he looked me in the eye, as if to say, "Nice goin', slick. Take your daughter directly from the toy store to Santa's lap. First time at the rodeo?" 

"Not completely, Fat Man," I wanted to say. "I'll be back for my free pound of bulk candy, sucka!"

Please check in at Part Time Authors each day this week to find helpful Holiday Gift Ideas! 

A retailer's guide to Black Friday

Patrick and I both work in retail. And that means that today is the day where my shoulders start getting tight and I drink lots on antacids as I prepare for Black Friday. In some ways, its kind of fun - its what you prep and plan for as a retailer. But in other ways, it can be really stressful because people get crazy! Here is my advice, as a retailer, to you, the shopper.

1. Know that it is going to be crazy out there. Every year there are some people who seem so ANNOYED that there are long lines. And they are mad at us that we can't make the lines shorter. Guess what? We wish we could make the lines shorter too, but we have every cashier doing everything they can to get people through the line. So be prepared to wait (bring snack and make sure your phone is charged and loaded with games!)
2. Don't get upset when something runs out. Stores have a limited number of door buster items and they sell out QUICKLY (one time a customer ripped a bag of one of our door buster items (about 50 of them) out of one of my associates hands and bought them all.) Usually within 10 or 15 minutes. So if you don't get what you want, move on. Don't get angry at the employees (again, who have no control over how many of that item that they got.) There are plenty of good deals to go around.
3. If the crowds scare you remember: most stores offer their Black Friday Deals all weekend, or the day or two before. So don't feel like you have to be there at midnight. Sure, some of the door busters will be gone (see #3 above.) but likely a lot of the items you want will still be there. Go to bed at home, wake up at 3am and hit the stores then. Usually by 4 or 5 lines are MUCH shorter and you can walk in, get what you need and get out in a reasonable amount of time. Or go shopping Friday afternoon, or Saturday or Wednesday. Check your favorite stores websites to see what they are offering. Sometimes you can get the same prices early or online, or if you sign up for their mailing list, have a store credit card, etc. 
4. Keep perspective: It's just shopping. Sure you might save $50 on a TV. Sure you can get all your holiday needs fulfilled in 1 frantic evening. But it's not worth pushing other people, yelling or loosing your humanity. Is that $19 food processor the cost of your humanity? I didn't think so. 
5. DO NOT bring your kids. Every year I see people with toddlers and small kids in tow. Black Friday shopping is rated T for Teen. No one under the age of 15 should be with you. Smaller kids should be in bed sleeping, not waiting in a packed line and screaming at the top of their lungs.
6. Finally: Be nice to the employees. Remember, that cashier ringing you up makes around minimum wage and probably left dinner with his family early to be at the store at 11:30pm so you could shop. So smile, tell them how great they are doing, thank them. Kindness goes along way. But wait, you say, it's not my fault! I am only being rude to the cashier because I am tired and cold and crowds give me hives! If this is your rationale: stay home. If you can't be cheery and nice while you shop, don't go out.

If you love the sport of it all, but all means have a great time and get a great deal. But if the idea of the whole thing panics you, just stay home and shop online. I've seen people have breakdowns because things get too nutty. But have fun. And be nice. And stay safe. And unofficially, if you come to my store (I'm there 11pm to 11am) bring me a cookie and a giant Diet Coke. 

5 Rules for Shopping with Your Husband.

I have worked in retail for more than 10 years now, and over these years I have come to be very judgmental of people who shop...everyone. But I am the most über critical of one shopping situation: The Husband and Wife Duo. So, as our readership is growing, and most of our readers are lovely and married women, and I feel it is my responsibility to use this blog to correct the most offensive of social faux pas, I have put together this list of...

5 Rules to Shopping with Your Husband.
{Listed in order of importance}

#1: Do Not Shop Like He is One of Your Girlfriends.



Here's the scenario: Man and wife are shopping. Man is trudging behind while wife is streaming a trail of sentences about Kim Vanderbelt telling Deborah Ashworth that her cankles were spilling over the edges of her espadrilles while she was putting a ramekin out to cool on a trivet. He is either glossy-eyed in agreement or feverishly trying to use the smaller words in the sentence to give him a clue as to the meaning of the larger ones. She goes on laughing, like he's just contributed, even though he had only just coughed, and he continues to follow in her wake. Here's the thing, I get it. You hardly ever get to go out and shop and finding a night these days when the ladies can all ditch their husbands and head out is tough. But this, my friend, it not the same thing. Even in a woman's clothing store your husband wants to be treated like your husband--maybe especially in a woman's clothing store. And even though he is now the reason that your girl's-nights-out are few and far between, well, that was the choice you made when you got married. And while it sounds like I am asking you not to include him, it is actually quite the opposite. He should feel included. After all, this is his night out too. And believe it or not, he has opinions.


# 2: Give It a Try.

True story: Man and wife shopping. She's looking for a dress. My store has lots of great dresses. I am taking the dresses she's chosen out of her hands so I can start a fitting room (we are a real classy store) and the Husband shows up with

This:

{Not exactly this dress, but it was electric blue, full length, and had much bigger, puffier sleeves than this one has}

The wife and I were a bit shocked. But then she remembered, she was not out with her ladies tonight, but her husband.

I can't tell you how many times I have seen an unwitting husband take that huge leap into the unknown and suggest something for his wife to wear only to have her shriek with disgust mingled with laughter, "Are you kidding?!" "What IS that?!" "My hips would look ridiculous in those pants!" "What is that a pumpkin?!" "Those stripes would make me look HUGE!" "I just puked in my mouth and some of the puke went up my nose at the thought... of me... in those... shoes." "Eww, you know that yellow washes me out, go sit on that chair over there." Well, believe me he LOVES that chair. He WANTS to be in that chair over there. He is only out there picking out things because he wants to contribute or, at the very least, he knows you want him to contribute. Your girlfriends love to hate things, they see it as all part of shopping, hating things. Your husband doesn't know this rule. He thinks you hate him.

Back to the blue dress: We all three stood there for a moment, taking in the dress. If I was at work I would tell you that it was a very fashion-forward dress that needed some super high and violent heels and a towering swath of a messy bun to pull it off, but this was not that customer. This was a husband. To my surprise, the wife asked the golden question: "Okay, what is it that you like about it?"

Then he said, "I don't know, it's blue." And he was right about that.

"It is blue." She said.

Then he said, "I just like when you wear blue stuff. It makes your eyes look all bluer."

There. Right there in front of me and without any fan fare or buildup, he told his wife he loved her blue eyes. Did she try on the dress? You bet! Did she buy it? Good Heavens, no. But she came out of the fitting room and showed him what his creation looked like on, with out one complaint of all the things that were wrong (for her) with that dress.

Post Script: I also saw a mother shopping with her 10 year old boy and they had a deal she could try on whatever she wanted and she would also try on whatever he wanted her to. They had a blast!

#3: You Brought It, YOU Hold It.

I can never figure this out: at what moment do women decide to just hand their purses off to their husbands? I don't get it! What if he wasn't there? Would you just hurl your belongings off into street? "That was it! I just couldn't carry it any longer." A purse was designed for you to hold it. You paid money for something you can take anywhere you need to go. That's the very point! He, on the other hand, has managed to get out of that house with everything he needs in his back left pocket. And, sure, he's glad you have some gum when he asks, and sometimes a pen. But if you don't want to hold it, don't bring it. And yet, there they sit. Everyday. The saddest picture of American capitalism. Some guy sitting with his owner's purse in his lap. And just so you know, he is being judged. And no, we are not thinking, "What a great husband, to sit there and hold his wife's purse for her. She's sure lucky to have him!" Oh, no. We are thinking "What the heck would that woman do if he wasn't here, throw her stuff out into the street?! You poor, poor man. You fell for it again." What? Oh, please, you judge him too.

Take this guy:

At least your husband isn't holding your purse on the internet for any creep to pluck out of a line-up of "men holding purses" and post on his blog...unless this is your husband.

I secretly think that woman do it to stake a claim on their men. "You see that ring on his finger? No? Well how 'bout my hot pink Coach knock off...yeah?! That's right, that one, yeah, I got it at a purse party! Yup, and he paid for it so KEEP WALKING, HONEY!" So, unless your purse is made out of an iPad, you go ahead and hang on to it.

#4: This Does Not Count as "Time Spent Together."

Going to dinner is "time spent together." The Movie? Bowling? Driving? Sure, all of these can qualify as "time spent together." Watching you pick out a skirt for your cousins wedding? Well, that's just for you. Picking out shoes at Foot Locker? That's just for him. So, when it's your turn, be gracious. Be a good host. Make sure you are aware that you and your husband are not on the same trip. You could get lost in my store, spend an hour just looking at the new stuff coming out or the old stuff that's now on sale or the new cuts of denim or the whole color story we are pushing for spring. To him, it's all clothes. And girl clothes at that. It's fine. If you two have decided to get this shopping done together, that's just fine, but don't let that fool you into thinking he's having as much fun as you are. He's there cause he loves you, and you're taking advantage of it.

#5: There's Only One Reason He's In This Store.

And that's you. And, probably, it's cause he loves you and loves to see you happy. So he's willing to walk in to a place where he knows he knows nothing, but you're there, and so, if you ask, he will hold your purse... just don't ask him to.