Brett's Favorite Ken Posts of 2013

Ken. What can I say?

He's probably PTA's most prolific and consistent writer.

Of course, I think everyone on this blog has their moments of staggering genius. It's an honor just to be on here with all of them. Patrick's posts are poetry. Chris is effortlessly funny. Josh tells it like it is and does it with heart.

Ken posts on Monday and always kicks the week off right. But to pick my favorite post(s) of his is like asking Ken to pick his favorite child. I can't do it. I am not lying when I say every single post he writes is great. They are each thought out, funny, touching, and entertaining. I'm lucky if I remember to post something. Not Ken. There he is each week publishing another winner.

So, even though it's really impossible to choose, here are a few of my favorites from Ken this past year:

Rattlin' & Hummin' - "'Are you heading to Salt Lake?' 'Yep,' as he opens his car door. 'Can I ride in your truck?' 'Yep,' as he gets in and spits out his chew. He leans out the window to explain how I can't sit up front because they have some equipment up there. I looked. It was true. They also had some in the back, up against the cab. I threw my bag in the back, and climbed aboard."

Parental Discretion Advised - "You want I should tell you why I was not allowed to watch the Dukes and Boss Hogg squabble over bootlegged moonshine in Hazzard County? 'Because those shows are stupid,' said my dad, laying down the law."

Molokai Style - "When you tell people you lived on Molokai, you get one of two responses. 'Never heard of it' or 'Isn't that where the lepers are?' You are correct on both accounts. For the most part, even people who live on another Hawaiian island raise their eyebrows and are most surprised to hear that there are people alive and well on Molokai."

If You Like Me, Check This Box - "About 25 minutes into every class, I would receive a love note from Katie. As if we were in junior high. They were always thoughtful; but my favorite part was that she would write the note, fold it up, and on the outside of the paper write: 'Pass this note to the handsome, dark-haired man on the front row named Ken.' She would then sneak in the door of this monstrous classroom, tap the suit in the last row, at the top of the stadium-style seating structure, and hand him the note. The guy would read the instructions to pass it down, and he would hand it to the guy in front of him. Down and down. Down and down."

Enjoy these posts once again and here's to a great 2014 on PartTimeAuthors.

Serving others: the gift I always forget

I want to be better about service.

I always feel like I'm too overwhelmed to help. I remember the proverb in Luke 4:23: Physician, heal thyself. I often feel like before I can really serve, I need to be happy enough with myself, healthy enough to do so. However, the trick is that part of healing ourselves only happens when we serve. So, I start small. I help my wife more. My kids. I try to offer encouragement to others.

But I don't take my kids to soup kitchens. Or to nice old ladies' houses. I have in the past. And it makes for a marvelous experience and, at this time of year, a more memorable Christmas.

I want to do that again. Feel that again. So, I guess I'm trying to say that, along with the physical gifts we give, maybe we can do something for someone else that will ease their burden a bit.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

[Note: this short was made by a wonderfully talented team led by my friends Jed Wells and Gavin Bentley. My wife put in hours hanging lights on all of our neighbors houses and made everything look good. Our house, tree, and family has a 2 second cameo.]

Santa was seriously injured, but he doesn't have to die

Photo from koikoikoi.com

Author's note: This contains my frank feelings about some Christmas traditions and will shatter the illusion for some younger readers. Parents be advised.

Our kids have stopped believing in Santa.

I told my daughter that if she stopped believing, he'd stop coming. Amelia didn't like that. Neither did my daughter. She has the Malibu Dream House on her list this year.

It was probably harsh of me. I was trying to joke about it. It's not like Christmas is canceled. But my point to them—that was missed—was when you stop believing in the Tooth Fairy, you're out a few bucks. When you stop believing in Tinkerbell, she can't fly. When you stop believing in Santa, Christmas Eve is a little less magical. Christmas morning is a little less anticipated. The Christmas spirit is just a little less bright. So, I tried to smile and laugh it off and then I went into my bedroom and cried.

I didn't always have such a pro-Santa agenda. When I was single, I had this idea that when I got married and started having kids, I'd never perpetuate the existence of a real Santa. I thought that maybe, if I read the myths and traditions surrounding Santa leading up to the holiday, made it clear they were legends, and then left a few gifts from "him," that Christmas could always be focused more on family and Jesus. My kids would know from the beginning that he was a part of Christmas tradition but not Christmas itself. But I married a woman with two kids who already believed and I wasn't about to stop that. I've never been logically sold on the idea of lying to my kids about a mythological man shaped by department store and Coca-Cola marketing. In our home, we've never used the jolly old elf as a bargaining chip, a behavior monitor, or threat. When there have been little questions, we've been vague. When the questions got specific like, "Are you Santa?" they have gotten the truth. So it's never been this huge dedication to the guy.

Here's a question: When we perpetuate this myth, what stops kids from reasoning that, perhaps, the other kind, gentle, loving Man they've also never seen is fiction? They both take the exercising of faith yet one turns out to be mom and dad. There's not a lot of physical evidence of God. For kids, at least Santa drank milk and ate cookies. One thing that helps is the The Spirt and, thankfully, that can be powerful.

So, is it better to not start the myth or is it good for them to practice this belief in someone they can't see so they can do it for other things? How should I have approached the Santa Let Down of 2013?

Someone shared this on Facebook and it intrigued me. Martha Brockenbrough wrote it for her daughter and it later appeared in the New York Times. Here are a few excerpts and you can read it in full here.

"I am the person who fills your stockings with presents ... the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the Christmas magic stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents, and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no, I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too."

I guess that's why I cried a little. I didn't want hope and happiness and magic to leave our home during Christmas. But it doesn't have to. It won't. It will still be in our Christ-centered activities. In how we treat people. In how we give to each other. And I bet, just maybe, there could be a little magic in our daughter's eyes when she drowsily, yet exitedly, opens that ...

My complicated relationship with babies

I searched Google for crazy babies.

I currently like babies. Let's get that out of the way. I like seeing them in the pew in front of me at church or in the line at the grocery store. I like making faces at them. I like their laughs. I like it when my friends and family make one so I get to be around one. Babies are great.

But I haven't always liked them.

When I was four or five, I saw a baby at church and I pointed at him in his stroller and he grabbed my finger and bit onto it and wouldn't let go until I slapped his face to make him cry so he'd let go.

When I was ten, my mother babysat a baby with 12 toes. He didn't bite my finger but I was still a little scared of him.

When I was 15, I found a baby on the stairs outside the orphanage where I lived and we brought it in and the nuns raised it and now he's the Mayor of Toronto.

One of those things is not true. And I only make light of it because ...

Today, when I think of babies, I get a little bit sad. Amelia and I have not been able to make them. One doctor speculates it's because I suffered an injury when I was young. (Wear a cup, kids! Even at home watching TV with your cousins!) One speculates that, even though she's had two children already, it's related to the thyroid disease Amelia was diagnosed with four years ago. Some doctors tell us we're too old and beat up to have a healthy child, even if we could.

The truth is we've never officially been tested or found out for sure why we can't. Now, some people may think that's stupid. "Well, if you want kids, you'd do everything you could to get them. Have more faith." Ok, sure. By the time we thought we were ready to try, we tried. By the time we realized there might be a real problem, Amelia was sick. Then her heart quit. Then there was the thought that God might not want us to make more together. He never gives you more than you can handle. Maybe he was trying to tell us we already had two marvelous kids in our mixed family home that we need to help to have the best lives they can.

Feeling incomplete, cheated, and left out, I've prayed a lot about the fertility issue over the years. Every question has always caused a stupor of thought. This past year, I got a peaceful feeling that we were good. That our family was complete ... for now. I don't know how to explain it but I feel whole. I really love my little family and it's good for me to learn to focus on them with all I have.

Yes, I missed the first 18 months of my daughter's life. The true "baby" years. But I've been able to spend every day since giving her my love, my advice, and my all. That's been pretty brilliant. She is pretty brilliant. And I've never even slapped her in the face.

Here's what I'm listening to on Spotify this month

AC Newman via prettymuchamazing.com

I had pretty much given up on iTunes. I felt guilty too because I know when I buy a song from iTunes the artist gets 10¢ instead of 1¢ when I stream from Spotify.*

But with the advent of the hand-held supercomputer we call iPhone, I don't have a small enough music library or big enough storage capacity to use iTunes on it. So, I drifted to streaming music instead. First it was Pandora. Bleh. If I had saved a nickel for every time Pandora played something in no way relevant to the station I was already listening to, I'd have enough money to buy a monthly subscription to Spotify Premium. So that's what I did. I say "had pretty much given up" because just recently I've been enjoying the new iTunes radio feature.

Still, it's not Spotify. I love Spotify because no where else can I discover new stuff or listen to my tried and true favorites as easily. Where else do I go to find new stuff based on bands I already like? Where can I create playlists called Nostalgia and put any song related to any memory I've had from my entire life in it? Touch of Grey? Yep. Hyperballad? Check. Glory Days? Uh huh. Repeater, Via Chicago, Why Can't This Be Love? Yes, yes, yes. My Lovin'? Shhhhh.

Here are 20 songs in my Starred Spotify playlist that I love:


Hope you enjoy and happy listening!

*These figures are not backed by research. Will you look it up for me?

I'm in a Stately Type state of mind

One of my friends, Mr. David Lesue, is a graphic and UX designer. His latest project has gotten me and a lot of others very excited about the country we live in. No it's not a political stance, it's hand-lettered t-shirts of all the states in the Union.

Dave says on his Kickstarter page:

"The inspiration for this project came from my love of hand-lettered type and from my fascination with the iconic shapes of state boundaries. By combining those two elements, I've come up with something that looks stunning—maps of the individual states, and of the United States as a whole that feel very personal, distinctive, and hand-crafted."

So please give the video a watch and consider helping get this project funded. A $25 donation gets you a shirt and the satisfaction of helping a beautiful project come to life.




I mean look at some of these! I'll definitely be getting my Utah on but I'm considering many others just because of how cool they are. From what I understand, there could be additional colors added in the future.

Anyway, have a happy weekend and do something amazing, if you want.

The 5 Scariest GIFs on the Internet

I don't have much to say except a) don't watch these if you get scared easily and b) don't let your kids watch these with you. Happy Halloween!

Scariness below.







I'll start you off simple. This is first one is me and my daughter. We were shooting a little short film for the "It's Only a Movie: Short Horror Film Festival" on Oct. 29th in Spanish Fork and during this scene our dogs kept walking up and down the hall with their clickity-clack claws. It was like 10:30 pm and we had been shooting since 4 pm and I was getting bugged. Then a demon possessed me.







Next we have a little girl playing with a Jack-in-the-Box. What, for the love of all that is unholy, could come springing out of there, I wonder?

Now imagine you're driving down a dark road in a creepy forest. You are extra careful because the tree limbs look like they could reach out and grab you. You come to a stop and think you see something just above you to the left ...

Oh, hey! Your sweet daughter wants to wave at you! She also says she's been talking to a friend.

This one? This one just might be the freakiest one I found because ... Pepsi.

(I found these here.)

The trailers for (and my involvement in) Inspired Guns and The Saratov Approach

This year, I was fortunate enough to be cast in two movies releasing within 4-5 months of each other. The are The Saratov Approach and Inspired Guns. They are two totally different movies and I play two totally different parts but they were/are both experiences I will value for the rest of my life.

If you live in United States and are Mormon, chances are you've already heard about The Saratov Approach, a thrilling true-story drama written and directed by my friend Garrett Batty. We did improv together for years are Comedy Sportz in Provo. If you haven't heard of it, or want to watch the trailer again, may I present the trailer to you here:

It's currently showing in Utah and will open in ID and AZ on Oct. 25.

I'm not in the trailer. My part was shot a few months(?) after principle photography was finished on the movie and I think the trailer had been released before they finished with my footage. (I think.) I auditioned for the producers and director and they gave me the part of Mark Larsen, an "older" former missionary who had also been kidnapped while on his mission in Argentina. We shot the footage in 3 hours at the house of one of the crew/producer's(?) brother's house. (I think.) It was a skeleton crew of the DP, sound guy, director, and producer ... and me. It was a part that required some real honesty and for about the first two hours I had trouble really focusing, being present, thinking too hard, and remembering the long monologue, which they were shooting in long continuous takes. I think the part would have been "fine" had they just used what they got in the first little bit, but I knew I could do better and so did they. Finally, after a few wise words from both the director Garrett and the producer Jake Van Wagoner (another dear friend), they set up and let the camera roll. All of a sudden, I got it. It made sense. I was speaking the words as if I were thinking them myself rather than remembering lines. I could picture the struggle of the missionaries, their parents, and the physical/spiritual struggles I've had in my life were creeping in to shape the tone of the take. For my one scene, I think it's 90% that one last take. What a rewarding experience. I wish I could do this all the time.

And here is the trailer for Inspired Guns, a comedy written and directed by my new friend Adam White. I plan an FBI agent who is new to field duty and it was so much fun to be a part of. I'll tell you more stories about this film as its January release gets closer. For now, all you need to know is that the cast was brilliant, fun to work with, and a delight to spend hours with in an old warehouse playing improv games while we waited for our scenes. I think it looks like it'll be funny. Enjoy!

Anticipating Autumn

What I love most about Fall is how different its approach feels than any other season.

With Spring, things begin to warm up slowly, there's the blossoms, and then all of a sudden it's 90 degrees and we're into Summer. Winter seems to happen abruptly as well. They're all beautiful in their own way, sure, but there's nothing better than the way Fall sneaks up on you. One day you're basking in the heat of late summer, and the next you wake up and there is a chill in the air, a feeling like something wonderful is about to happen. From that day on, you wear a jacket everywhere. You bust out your boots. The tip of your nose gets cold when you walk any farther than 25 yards. The heater kicks on.

It's that feeling that triggers all the others to burst out suddenly, almost unexpected, like fireworks on July 6th. It's the Halloween excitement. Fall TV premieres coupled with hope and anxiety. Amazement at the beauty of dying leaves. School nerves. Music that seems to fit better in crisp temperatures. The comfort that comes from crackling fires and the joy of frothy hot chocolate. Can you feel that? That's Fall.

For me, it's the season that induces anticipation like none else. And a sense of urgency. Like it's saying "You'd better get in all you hoped to, I don't know how long I'll be here. The snows of Winter are coming to take you hostage for five months."

So, I love Fall. And I know it when I feel it.

If you want to keep reading, here's a poem I wrote in 2003 about Fall:

Wishful Maple

When I die, everyone will notice. I want to make a scene. I am going to strip myself naked. Slowly. Piece by piece. Standing proud, limbs unsheathed, I'll shiver one last time and splatter red all over the yard. A timely pre-winter whisper will be my cue to come apart. When it is my time to die, the guard will drop and gravity will take over, slowly. It is possible my brilliant remains will be left on the knobby ground to rot. Or maybe, they will be swept into a crispy colorful pile, used as an itchy nap-time mattress or haunted hiding place and then cremated, autumnal ashes reaching a hundred nostalgic noses

When happiness can come rushing in to meet the sadness

Louis CK is one of the most foul, offensive, brilliant, and insightful comedians of all time. Some of you may remember a great bit of his from a talk show a few years back about how impatient we get with technology even though it has to go to space and back. It's great to look inward at the ridiculousness connected to our need for instant gratification.

Today I saw this post on Gawker with Louis CK on Conan and it hit me hard. In a good way. The content is visceral and does have some cusses (the worst bleeped out) but it's worth hearing. For me, anyway.

As with most of his interviews, there's moments of getting off track (because great comedians will take and run with good moment) but at the heart of this funny stuff there are some great insights about just being and allowing yourself to feel the bad and the good of each day instead of shutting any moment of silence or sadness down with a quick check of our device.

I got thinking, you know, The Book of Mormon touches on a similar topic when, in 2 Nephi 2:11, it reads: "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so ... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad."

In order to learn what goodness or happiness is, what holiness truly is, we need to know that the opposite exists and that it sucks.

This clip below got to me especially because yesterday I learned that one of my cousins died. She was 21, beautiful, talented, and troubled. And so sweet whenever we talked. I'll miss seeing her around and checking in with each other about life. Her family is really suffering right now, understandably. I've been thinking a lot about that, about her, about my kids, and about these moments in life.

Over the last 18 hours or so, I've been allowing myself to feel when it would have been so easy for me to tune into distractions. By not ignoring the raw painful emotions, I find that I'm more truly happy when the good times inevitably come back around.

Anyway, you can pretty much skip to :53 but I've added some of the best bits below this so you can just read them if you want. Here you go:


Some selected moments:

"You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That's what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there. That's being a person. ... And sometimes when you things clear away, you're not watching anything, you're in your car, and you start going, 'oh no, here it comes. That I'm alone.' It's starts to visit on you. Just this sadness. Life is tremendously sad, just by being in it...

That's why we text and drive. I look around, pretty much 100 percent of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard."

Then he talks about driving in his car listening to a Bruce Springsteen song ("Jungleland") that made him really sad:

"And I go, 'oh, I'm getting sad, gotta get the phone and write "hi" to like 50 people'...then I said, 'you know what, don't. Just be sad. Just let the sadness, stand in the way of it, and let it hit you like a truck.'

And I let it come, and I just started to feel 'oh my God,'and I pulled over and I just cried l ... I cried so much. And it was beautiful. Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments.

And then I had happy feelings. Because when you let yourself feel sad, your body has antibodies, it has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness. So I was grateful to feel sad, and then I met it with true, profound happiness."

So, try to have a great weekend but also try not to forget to be present in whatever you happen to be feeling or doing. You're alive. And I'm so happy and thankful for that.

Our house is a very, very fine house

All I can see in this photo is our spotty dead lawn.

If you know anything about me and my family and our lives in the last six years, you know that our hate for our last house is well documented. I won't go into it here (you can read more here) but I mention it only because anything I could say that I hate about our current house is nothing compared to the mold demons, plumbing gremlins, and other supernatural forces we battled for four and half years at 710 E 3950 N in Provo. We would have probably burned it down to cleanse it if we hadn't finally found a buyer.

You might even say it would be blaspheme to even mention that I am in any way dissatisfied with our current home of two years. Because I love our house.

But. We have a little roof leak that only acts up in the winter. I'd like to fix that. I'd love to have the 6 ft tall window replaced. The heat cracked it because I left the 1000 degree BBQ grill next to it for too long (read: at all). Little annoyances compared to the old house.

But. Seriously. I hate our yard.

Here's a confession. It's probably my fault. Maybe when we moved in, if I had the money to fix the automatic sprinkler system, I could have salvaged the sparsely seeded lawn. I could have used a hose to water, weeded more frequently, fertilized, nurtured, aerated, and so on. But I didn't. When we moved in the lawn was dead. And the following spring I got really excited for a month to resurrect it. I tried the standard things and, for a second, they worked. But, sweet Odin's raven, I could not get the sprinklers to work the right way or on time. And I didn't have the energy to come home from work every day and move the hose around like some hose-mover person. So, by July it was dead. It's been dead by July every year.

It is the ugliest yard in five square miles.

"Wah. Just be more like Chris Clark. Haven't you seen his lawn?" I have. I love it. It feels like silken strands of heaven when you touch it. He works hard to keep it that way. But I'm pretty sure his sprinklers work and if they didn't he'd probably know how to fix them. So, while I'd love to have his yard, I need to take baby steps. First, learn to fix the sprinklers, second, fix them, third, tear out all the grass and re-sod, fourth, water and care for the lawn into celestial glory.

We have plans for the yard. We'll get there. But it's probably more fitting that we fix the leak and the crack first. Until then, it will sit there, dead, and spraying thistle and dandelion seeds onto everyone else's yards. Sorry, Edgemont!

My high school journal part 2

In my 11th grade English class in 1988, we were required to keep a journal. Sometimes we had assigned topics. Other times it was open. Here, for your reading pleasure, are some of those journal entries with grammar, spelling, and stupidity left alone. Kevin Arnold, from the Wonder Years, I was not. Check out the first installment here.

3-9-88 The person I would most like to meet

"I don't really know who I'd like to meet. I have a lot of famous people that I wouldn't mind meeting but if I could meet anyone it would be Christ. He seems like a great guy to get to know. He was so knowledgable and good. I need a good influence in my life like him. He loved everyone and was the most perfect human to my belief, Yes, that's who I would like to meet in person."

3-17-88 Irritants

"The kinds of people that irritate me the most are fake people. The kind of people who just go around saying "Hi", like drones. They just need their reputations thats all. Anything to keep them popular. I also hate the groupies. They stay in their little groups all day like fish. They won't waste their time to meet people. But, hey! If you just happen to start pulling in money they start kissing up to you. They want you to be a groupie. That's what I hate, fakes and groupies. The two go together except the fakes say "Hi" to other people instead of just never acknowledging the unknowns like the groupies."

3-23-88 Re-design

"If I could re-design myself I'd make myself 2 inches higher, 30 lbs heavier [Author's note: I was maybe 140 lbs here] and I wouldn't get pimples. Well, maybe 3 a month. I'd make myself quicker, faster, and more coordinated. I'd have a more forward personality to people I didn't know and my brain would be able to get its priorities in order. My relationship capacity would be longer ... I would like to be nicer, hadsomer and have a good personality."

3-31-88 Open topic

"It's an open topic huh. Well I'll be so open I won't know what to say. Wow it worked! I don't know at all what to say. Luckily I only have a few seconds left. ... So, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

5-27-88 Last full Friday

"The last full-day Friday of the year. I'm worried about failing my History, Drafting, and Accounting class. [Author's note: I am 99% sure I failed that accounting class.] I hope that I will pull through. Mr. Downs won't fail me though. Will ya Mr. D."

There you go. The mind of 16 year-old Brett. Remember, Like us on Facebook and leave a comment there or ideas for future posts or topics. Have a great weekend.

My history with TV and the shows I'll be watching this Fall

I have had a complex relationship with television over the years. 

When I was a growing up in the 70s and 80s there were a handful of shows I watched after school, with my family, or with friends. There are too many to list but the ones that come rushing to the forefront of memory for me are: Bonanza, Wild Wild West, Mork and Mindy, Too Close for Comfort, GI Joe, Transformers, Days of Our Lives, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, Three's Company, Doctor Who, The A-Team, Knight Rider, Saturday Night Live, Sanford and Son, Taxi, MASH, Cheers, Carol Burnett Show, and more.

The point I should make here is that I never watched these shows loyally. Like every week without a miss. The way TV worked in our house was that when we had time to turn on the TV and watch as a family, we watched what was on. The good thing about this was that I watched a lot of different shows. We were eclectic. The drawback was that if I really liked a show, there was no guaranteed I'd know when it was on, remember when it was on, or watch it when it was on.

Then the 90s came. I was in my 20s, working full-time, in school part-time, and single. I was never home. The only time I watched anything regularly was if a girl I was dating watched anything regularly. The exception was X-Files, SNL, and The Simpsons. I watched the crap out of those shows. But, still, not every single week without fail.

The point is that the idea of being a loyal viewer of certain shows, being a die-hard fan, never really hit me until about 2002. I moved in with a couple of dudes, my friends Ben and Eric, and learned that people still devoted time and attention to TV. They watched shows in groups. Every week. This was, at first, something I did because it was social and I needed to be social. But then something happened.

I fell in love. I fell for Sidney Bristow, Jack Bauer, Detectives Mackey, Stabler, and Benson. Fell for Buffy, Spike, Angel, Fred. The Fischers. The Cohens. They held my heart in their little make believe hands.

Ever since then, I've followed shows. I've paid for a DVR before paying for clothes. I've checked out what's coming and marked the calendar. I've cast away dumb shows. I've been betrayed by the ratings machine. Like Josh, I take it seriously now. Like Chris, I know what I love and hate. Like Patrick, I've binge watched. Like Ken, I like the smart stuff. I know it's just TV but I also know that it's fine to love it.

That's more history than you wanted. But this Fall begins a new ritual. Below, I've picked new shows I'll champion, or at least test, until they get canceled or until I realize they aren't very good. (You can see the list of shows I already watch here. I don't watch reality TV.)*

Could be good

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. — You had me at Marvel's.

The Tomorrow People — Sci-fi with a cool concept.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland — Let's hope the acting starts out better than the original.

Reign — My list is CW heavy, right? They're either getting better or I'm a teenage girl.

Almost Human — JJ Abrams produces and it's got writers from Fringe.

About a Boy — Can it translate to the US and TV?

Believe — The creative team behind this is legit.

Crisis — It's got one half of the X-Files duo.

Us & Them — I like that Ritter guy.

Giving these a test run

Dracula — I'm a sucker for a good vampire story. 

Mom — I think Anna Farris is brilliant at comedy.

Sleepy Hollow — Love the story, unsure about the concept.

The Blacklist — As overdone as this genre is, it seems intruguing.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine — Could be great if the cast gets to play to their strengths.

Super Fun Night — Could be great if the cast gets to play to their strengths.

AHS: Coven — This show's other two "mini-series" brought me to the brink. It's on notice.

The Crazy Ones — I'm rooting for Buffy.

Lucky 7 — Interesting concept around the sharing of lottery winnings.

The Originals — Do I have to have seen Vampire Diaries to get it?

Mind Games — Zahn. I like Zahn.

Murder Police — I have a soft spot for animated comedy.

Resurrection — Huh. Ghosties.

The 100 — Mmmmmmaybe?

How about you?

*As of this writing, I have no idea if all of these shows will even premiere.

Here's proof I was an idiot in high school

I'm 42. I was 16 once. When I was 16, I thought I was pretty cool. In fact, for much of my life I thought that I had things pretty well figured out. It's just been the last 10 years or so that I realize I don't. We're all just doing the best with what we've got, right? But I digress. My point is I was a stupid teenager.

In my 11th grade English class in 1988, we were required to keep a journal. Here, to prove my point and for your reading pleasure, are some of those journal entries with grammar, spelling, and stupidity left alone. Some have been shortened for time:

1-25-88 Why America is Awesome

"America is a great place to live because of our rights. A lot of countries don't have rights or freedoms. We basically get to do what we want when we want. I enjoy not having an army always patrol the streets. I like going places without the government knowing my next move. [Author's note: Hahahahahahahahaha! Good one.] I like living where I want, talking with who I want and saying what I want. America is the best place I could live."

1-27-88 The DQ Incident

"Last night was not my night. At work everything was fine until I had to empty the fridge. I was taking the unfrozen ice cream mixture out and the top crate came off. The whole bag of total liquid ice cream splashed all over the floor. It took me at least a half an hour to clean it all up. Then I emptied the fryer. But instead of only opening one valve I opened one to many and both the fryers emptied. We had not hot grease. I then had to put the grease back in so we would have hot grease. It hurt. Then I spilled chocolate all over my shirt and pants. I got out of there at 12:15 am."

1-29-88 Smoking

"Smoking really sucks. Not that I do, but I have friends and friends parents that do. I'll admit I've tried it. I'll also say it sucked. The smell that gets on you and clings there. ... The kid in front of me has a pregnant cat. I don't see how anyone could enjoy killing themselves slowly by smoking. There is a dance tonight." [Author's note: I smoked on and off from 2000-2005. I should have remembered it sucked.]

2-4-88 When I'm 75

"The kind of life I want at 75 is an active one. Of course I don't think the world will last that long but I'll pretend. I'd like to still be living an enjoyable, active life. I want to be vacationing, retiring from the business world. On a cruise one week, Italy the next. ... That is all I'd like to be doing. Relaxing away, soaking up some rays, etc. There is nothing more that would be best to be a 75, besides being 50 or 30 or 20."

2-26-88 Decisions, Desisions

"I think I should be allowed to make the decisions of when I go somewhere and when I'll be home. I usually do. I know I'm not going to be out partying so, I must be doing something constructive. My mom trusts me. I like that. Another desision I should be able to make is if wheter I want to work or not. If I don't want money that's my choice. My mom still wants me to be a slave to DQ forever."

I could go on. In fact, maybe throughout this year I'll post more of my high school naivety. It's sort of fun to remember these moments. I'm thankful I'm less stupid today. Just a little.

My favorite non-PTA blog is ...

Yours!

No, I kid. It's not. I mean, it might be one of my favorites. Are you my wife or one of my 17 friends? Then, yes, your blog is one of my favorite blogs.

Also, did you know that every author here at PTA has their own personal blog (that they rarely update)? They do. You should read them.

Since I can't list all my favorite blogs, and it's impossible to narrow it down to one, I'm going to list three:

1. Amelia Merritt. This is my wife's blog. She's got a gift for telling it like it is, girlfriend. She holds nothing back. It can make people uncomfortable at times, even me, but it's mostly because truth can be awkward. Her posts about her heart failure and pacemaker surgery make me teary-eyed and I already know the story!

2. Modern Mormon Men. I don't just recommend it because I contribute to it often or because Chris and Josh used to. I recommend it because, if you're Mormon, it gives a variety of perspectives on the LDS experience that are hard to find in one place anywhere else. You'll love a lot of it, and you'll disagree with a lot of it. That makes a good blog.

3. Splitsider. The blog/site for comedy nerds and/or geeks. It's for those who enjoy reading funny stuff or thoughts on why stuff is funny (sometimes with scientific proof) or comedy history or comedy pop culture. Is that you? Yes? Then you'll love it! My favorite feature is called Saturday Night's Children: "Saturday Night Live has been home to over a hundred cast members throughout the past 37 years. In our column Saturday Night’s Children, we present the history, talent, and best sketches of one SNL cast member every other week for your viewing, learning, and laughing pleasure."

There you go. I hope this gives you minutes of online reading pleasure. What are your favorite blogs?