Tuesday, November 5, 2013

iPhoned It In

So a few weeks ago, we were hosting an over the top, decadent, life altering party.  It was for Halloween and the lighting scheme was only candles, which made everyone look lovely and golden...even the terrifying scarecrow couple who had dead crows dangling from his participles. During one of the courses, I dropped my phone.

One foot down

          In slow motion

                        end over end
                               over end over end
                                              over end over end

                                                                             soft bump on soft wood floor

Screen shattered. 

A few weeks and one second before my phone fell, I judged those people who pulled out there phone and still stroked their finger over divided triangled glass, pinching and moving the picture to fit into the largest unbroken section.  Well...


Who am I to judge?!  Maybe they work a lot and the Apple Store want to charge them $170 to fix it?! And maybe they got their phone insured but used Verizon instead, and there is no Verizon store in the mall they work at and so there is no way of finding out what they would cost...though, I suppose they could still use their phone, only their ear bleeds when he does.

So this week on PTA we are all talking about what is on our iPods and let me tell you, the only thing on my iPod is a busted a** screen.  And it's the worst!  I mean, you live your life thinking you are better than most people and that you are for SURE better than those dummies with huge pink plastic protective cases (sorry honey) duct taped to this sleek sexy skinny phone. (btw I opted for a super cute wood sticker that went on the back and on the face of the phone but left the sides as God made them...naked and black!) And then in the end it turns out you are no better than those you reveled in judging, but perhaps you are even worse because you were, all along, wrong. And now my ear bleeds when my mom calls but for reals instead of figuratively...Ha ha ha ha...just kidding mother.

So if by chance I have met you and you were talking on your phone that you have dressed like the little brother going to school in 'A Christmas Story' I want you to know I judged you, I thought the less of you and thought you to be a person who can't control even one pretty little thing in their life. 

I was wrong.

I am sorry.

Accidents happen to anyone...though mine happened at a super sexy party that you probably weren't invited to.

I feel so much better.

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