1. He hates bananas.
2. Present an interview with Chris Clark himself—via his preferred method of communication: text message.
What's the first birthday you remember?
"The first birthday I remember was about age three. We lived in Littleton, Colorado. My Grandma Clark came to visit and she gave me a gum-ball machine. I also got a little trike which I rode in some puddles."
What are the five most memorable birthday presents?
"1. A Might Men and Monster Maker 2. A Weeble-Wobble Haunted House 3. A sleeping bag that was a giant lifesaver! 4. A DVD player from my friends. 5. My mission companion fed an old lady bananas at a rest home so I didn't have to."
Have you ever lied about your age? When? Why?
"Yes. I used to say I was 13 to get into PG-13 movies even though nobody ever asked or cared."
If money was no object, what would you ask for for your birthday?
"I would actually ask for money, even though it's no object. I would pay off my house. Or pay off my student loans. I think if I could just ask for $100,000, I would be in super great shape."
Why is The Host your favorite movie this year so far?
"There's just something magical about it. And I relate to it. I also have really blue eyes. And I have a bratty, horrible teenage girl in my head. I also love to grow wheat in caves and eat nothing but breadsticks and rolls."
What can I get you for your birthday?
"A pony. A hug. $100,000."
Happy birthday, Chris. When we first met and ate Del Taco while watching Alias, I thought we'd be great friends. I'm glad I was right. You're the bee's knees.
