Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I'm not posting today.

I don't have to, I have an excuse.  And don't you think that if a person has an excuse, a really good excuse that only comes along once or (in my case) twice in a life time, they should use that excuse? I do.  I really am the type of person who, if I throw up, I go home from work.  Even if I'm not sick, if I just throw up but feel fine, I'm still leaving...cause I have an excuse.  I mean, I know there are people out there who have excuses and yet, they hang around and do stuff they could not do because they can muscle through and get the job done, but that's not me, I do NOT muscle through.

Like, I knew this girl once, who passed out during her new hire training and she just sat out for a few minutes and then kept on being trained. It's like, GO HOME! You-done-passed-out! You have a reasonable excuse, no one is thinking, that girl is super awesome for passing out and then learned how to handle an online return.  They're thinking, "That chick totally passed out for reals, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she hit the floor, and then that fool stayed." That's what they are thinking.

I bet Ken is the kind of person who muscles through. Like if Ken were walking an old lady across the road and a Suburban just sort of nicked him, just sort of grazed his hip, he would be all, "It's nothing, I'm glad to do it. Let's get you across this wild road, sweetie." Then he'd stuff that crotchety old bag into his man purse and bound softly across the road. I can totally see that.  Whatever Ken, you do what you want,  if a Suburban even comes close to me-- I'm out.  I don't mess around.  That lady'd be lucky if I called out, "Good luck!" as I was ditching her nightgown wearing sack of bones in the middle of the street, what's she doing making me haul her nightgown wearing sack of bones across the street anyway?!  Where does she even have to go?  Put some clothes on, you old bag!

Now Chris, he will take the excuse. He has to! I mean, everyone wants him to do all sorts of dumb stuff and if he did everyone's dumb stuff they wanted him to do, he would never get anything done except the dumb stuff other people wanted him to do. More then once Chris has hit me with the excuse.  I mean, really, he's told me he was in the hospital having babies, like 5 times, I don't get mad though, I mean, every time he has come home with a kid and then began raising that kid and will raise that kid until he can legally get out of it, all so he didn't have to go with me to see "What Lies Beneath".

Josh, he's tough.  Now, he loves a good excuse.  He is not evening going to finish reading this blog post because *Enter Excuse Here*. But then there is a part of him who likes having all his crap done, that's the real problem with the excuse, it really only buys you time, it's not like your problems go away, unless your willing to raise 5 random kids to get a way from your problems then they are still waiting for you, standing at the end of your bed waiting for you to take off your sleep mask and wake up. So Josh will finish the reading this post and he'll quip some witty quip but it will only be to tie up this loose end and he will sleep tonight.

Brett...I'm pretty sure that Brett didn't post last week because he was busy "giving thanks". Well my excuse tops that for sure!  I mean, we all had to sit around some table and rack our brains for something that we are thankful for that doesn't sound like you just copied your brother but inserted your own wife's name instead.  We all had get up at 3:30 in the morning to get to the back of the Best Buy line only to come home with a $700 Mini Blue-Ray player that only plays Mini Blue-Ray's that haven't been invented yet. It's fine.  He had a great excuse and he took it, I would have, but I had to post on Tuesday and there were no national holidays lined up for last Tuesday, so what could I do? I posted.  But not this week.  This week I am taking off.  Because today, Tuesday, maybe even as you are reading this, I am sitting in a courtroom waiting to have a judge tell me and my wife that my 6 month old son is now legally and permanently ours.  It's all I can think about and I don't want to think about anything else. I just want to sit and think about the reason I can't post today.

And it's this guy.  

{ He was the Little Bad Wolf for Halloween...I made the costume.}

Welcome home, Milo.
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