Wednesday, April 4, 2012

all hail!

This past weekend was General Conference, and I'm not going to assume you aren't Mormon by explaining what that is. Even if you live in Brunei or wherever. Just google it. Anyway, it's basically church on TV and we get to do it twice a year. But the conference sessions come in two hour blocks with a two hour break between them, in which we get to watch documentaries about church members in Africa and people who make pioneer movies. And in between those shows we get a smattering of commercials, all of which are local and/or LDS based. This year was an exciting conference in the Clark household, because my wife Lisa and I crowned ourselves the King and Queen of Conference Commercials!

Lisa's been all over the place lately, but you couldn't have failed to notice her as Cindy, the protagonist of this Deseret Book commercial:

Lisa does a really nice job here. She really glows, even with that painful back! Ouch. I've been there. For real, Cindy, pace yourself with those books. Get a life! Maybe one book at a time? That's my motto. And all those Mormon books? For reals? You know she's got Fifty Shades of Grey tucked in there somewhere - we're all human.

Then, just when you feel like you've learned your lesson about bulky book bags, here comes me to teach you about food storage!

Let me tell you something. I was with those animals for six hours. They smelled super bad and one of the chickens bit me. There's a huge horse in the back, but you can't really see him. He would freak out about every four minutes and start to stamp and kick. So we took lots of breaks. The cows were super nice. I guess the point I'm making is that Lisa got a nice warm set with calming music and soft lighting and I got the underground bunker with the crazypants pony. But I don't bite the hand that feeds me! I was happy for the work.

These commercials played sporadically throughout conference, and we always knew when one was on because our phones would blow up. But the ultimate stroke was just after the final conference session, when these two commercials played back to back! And that was when I think the general public finally came to realize that the perky bookworm from Deseret Book was totally hooking up with the paranoid nerd from Honeyville. A match made in heaven! Or, in this case, conference.
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