Wednesday, January 22, 2014

get the lead out!

I'm so sorry about the short post today, but I'm so busy. I'm way busier than you are. It's not even close. I am busier than you will ever be. Just give up. I won the busy battle. Roma Victor!

I just wanted to tell you something I did this morning. I feel bad about it. But I also feel justified. Here's what happened.

I was driving to work on 800 South in Orem. It was about 9 am. Kids were all in school, and it wasn't too busy on the streets. I was driving behind a woman in a Subaru Forester. She wasn't an old lady, I would say she was about 50. She was also driving under 20 MPH. The speed limit was 35.

I'm not a speeder - I swear I'm not. I can stick to 35 on a residential street. But this was so irritating. So maddening, so so ridiculous. There was a line of cars piled up behind her. Please know that we were not in any crossing or school zones. There were no flashing lights. Just some dumb lady driving the speed of turtle dump and me, with my well documented road rage issues, swerving back and forth behind her.

I know she was aware of me behind her, and I don't think she was going slow just to irritate me. She didn't seem the type. She just really enjoyed driving her Japanese jalopy and didn't care that it was LEGAL to go 15 MILES FASTER.

So here's what I did. I could see her checking me in her rear view. I wasn't tailgating, but I was close enough. Every time she checked on me I made a gun sign with my hands and pretended to shoot her. Not in a joking way, but in a really serious way. Like I was really shooting her. I did this several times. Bang! Bang! Every time. In cold blood. She got the point. Eventually we parted ways and I know she was relieved. I was going to shoot her!

Anyway. I have to go to a meeting because I'm so busy. But I wanted to tell you about it. I feel bad for acting like that. But I also feel justified, because there is no excuse for driving that slow!!! Amirite?
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