Wednesday, March 27, 2013

a miracle!

I believe in small miracles and I enjoy sharing them with others. I think that they can really give people hope amidst an economic crisis, catastrophic weather, and the current Justin Bieber melt-down. There really are angels among us, you guys! Let me tell you how I know.

Last week Lisa and I took a trip to Palm Springs with my brother Jesse, his wife Lindsay, and my cousin Scott and his wife Angerie. Scott is made of money and Jesse likes to golf, which means he must have money, and that leaves me: a college professor! You connect the dots. Anyway, Palm Springs is a beautiful place but it's not exactly welcoming to beardy hipsters, which I'm not, but look like. Most people thought I was Zach Galifianakis and lots of people took my picture.

One night my rich cousin and my wealthy brother decided we would all go to a steak house for dinner. It sounded great to me and Lisa. Sizzler, anyone? No, we would be going to a super fancy place for people who wear Cold Water Creek and Tommy Bahamas. I knew when I flipped open the menu that I was going to be really paying for that steak, and I heard Lisa mutter something under her breath about food stamps.

Please understand that we're not that poor. I'm not pleading poverty here. I'm not on the streets. I'm not Fantine or something. I make a good wage, but I'm a notorious miser sometimes. I could enjoy a simple night at Chipotle and feel on top of my game. But I also don't want to be the guy who grouches about how much his meal costs, so I stayed silent and just hoped that somehow it would all work out.

And then the most amazing thing happened!!! The waiter brought in a basket full of piping hot garlic rolls and I was all handsy and gluttonous and popped about four in my mouth. Midway through my fifth, I felt a strong crack on my back molar followed by the feeling of grisly ash. I felt something hard rolling around the back of my throat and sure enough! It was a shard of glass. You guessed it!

I summoned the waiter over and told him that I had found a smallish piece of glass in my garlic roll, but I assured him I was OK. I wasn't a big jerk about it, even though I could have been. I knew my luck was changing! The waiter's eyes got really round and then he disappeared into the kitchen. Soon enough the manager came out and knelt down by me and talked to me very quietly. I will not reveal the details of this conversation, but I will finish by letting you all know that not only did I get a free dessert out of this whole thing, but so did the whole table! I was the man of the hour. All because I never gave up hope.
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