I Want To Smash My Face Into This

Image and recipe originally from kraft.com

Once it becomes Autumn, don't you want to only eat pumpkin flavored things? And then build a house out of pumpkin flavored things and then eat your house? I love pumpkin and this is one of my favorite pumpkin desserts. We originally discovered it in one of those Kraft Magazines they send you to get you to buy more craft products. It's quick, easy and amazingly delicious. I admit, it looks kinda lame, and when you read the recipe, it seems even lamer but trust me it is delicious. When you eat it it seems much more decadent and complex. 

What you Need:

• 1 package yellow cake mix
• 1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 4 large eggs
• 1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 8 oz. cream cheese
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 tub cool whip
• 1/4 cup caramel topping
• 1/2 cup pecans, chopped

How you do it:

Preheat oven to 350°. Grease and flour 2 9-inch round cake pans. Mix the cake mix with 1 cup of the pumpkin, milk, oil, eggs and 1 tsp of the pumpkin pie spice. Pour into pans. Bake for 20-22 minutes until it passes the toothpick test. 
Cool for 10 minutes and then remove from pans. Allow to cool completely.
Beat cream cheese in a small bowl with electric mixer. Add powdered sugar, remaining pumpkin and remaining pumpkin pie spice. Stir in cool whip.
Cut cakes horizontally. Stack on a serving plat spreading the cream cheese mixture between the layers. Don't frost the top layer. Drizzle with the caramel topping and pecans. Keep in refrigerator until ready to serve.

You Say Tomato, I Say Bruschetta

So right about now you are looking out your kitchen window and thinking, "Good Heavens! What. Have. I. Done!"  Those adorable, three dollar heirloom tomato plants you picked up from Home Depo have now fully swallowed those cute cages (you splurged and got the colored ones: red, yellow and blue) and are now aggressively and successfully taking over your lawn.  You have already done your visiting teaching this month (you really only do it July through September because you have to unload these grenades somewhere and you stupidly went with your sisters to buy the plants so they are as inundated as you are and you're thinking to yourself, "One of us should have planted Cucumbers") and the neighbors who just moved in have not even picked up the bag you left on their steps...for the second time.  Well, good thing you are a fervent reader of Part Time Authors because have I got a solution for you!  EAT THEM!  And to help you do that, here are three tried and true killer recipes Lindsay and I have been doing a lot lately, that are tomato based that will have people cheering for you rather than running from you in parking lots.

 *You should note that there is a lot of basil/olive oil going on in all three recipes, but if it ain't broke...

Number 1: Bruschetta

 Ingredients

• 2 pints grape tomatoes...or really all three of your Heirloom Tomatoes diced into bite sized squares...so, you know, diced.
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 loaf sesame semolina bread, or a good hard baguette cut on the bias. (that's right.) 
• 2 cloves garlic halved...or 3 cloves...or 4.  We like it garlicky at our house. 
• 4 scallions, finely chopped...Lindsay will do diced red onions instead so should you
• 1/2 cup basil leaves, thinly sliced, good thing you planted that basil plant in your window!

Directions

Dice the Tomatoes into bite sized squares. Cut 2 large "planks" of bread each 1-inch thick by slicing the bread lengthwise horizontally. Reserve the rest of the loaf for another use.
Char bread on both sides (broiler or grill) then rub hot bread with cut garlic.
In a bowl, lightly mash the roasted tomatoes and combine with onions and basil. Top the large planks with tomato mixture then cut each giant crostini into 4 pieces, 8 pieces total.

Number 2:  Caprese Pasta

 Ingredients

• 4 C. Cherry or similar tomatoes...or diced any kind of backyard tomatoes
• 8 to 10 Garlic cloves, peeled and sliced thin
• ½ C. Olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• 1 lb. Spaghetti
• 1 ½ C. Fresh mozzarella, small cubes
• Fresh basil and parmesan cheese to garnish

Directions

Preheat oven to 350. In a large baking dish, add the tomatoes, sliced garlic and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper and toss well. Bake for about 30 minutes. Tomatoes should be soft and beginning to break open. Remove from the oven.

About 15 minutes before the tomatoes are done, cook your spaghetti according to the package and your preference of doneness.

In large bowl, add the drained pasta, top with the diced mozzarella and roasted tomato mixture and toss. Finish by garnishing with fresh basil and parmesan cheese. Adding a  few grinds of fresh ground pepper completes the dish.

Number 3: Pappa al Pomodoro

Ingredients

• 5 or 6 or 7 good sized tomatoes from your backyard...any color or combination of colors (I did Red and Yellow!)
• ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 4 garlic cloves, minced
• ½ cup finely chopped fresh basil leaves, plus 4 to 6 leaves for garnish
• ¼ cup finely chopped fresh sage leaves, plus 4 to 6 leaves for garnish
• 4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
• 1½ pounds country-style bread, cut into 2-inch cubes
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
• ¼ cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese for garnish

Directions

1. Dice Tomatoes.
2. In a medium soup pot, heat the oil over medium heat. Sauté the garlic for 30 seconds, or until softened but not browned. Add the basil and sage and cook for 1 minute, or until softened and aromatic.
3. Add the reserved tomatoes and broth and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer for about 10 minutes, or until the tomato mixture is cooked down a little.
4. Add the bread, cover, and cook another 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Let the soup sit for a few more minutes to allow the bread to soften and melt into the soup.
5. To serve, ladle into shallow soup bowls, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese, and garnish each with a basil and sage leaf. Serve immediately.
Advance Preparation:
May be prepared up to 4 hours ahead through Step 4 before serving. The longer it sits, the thicker it will become. Cover and leave at room temperature. Reheat gently.
The clever cook would:
1. Drizzle ½ teaspoon Balsamic Syrup over each serving. (And you should be clever!)
2. Prepare this when you have stale leftover bread.
3. Add a dollop of ricotta cheese...or even better Boursin,  to the soup bowl and then ladle the soup over for a slightly creamy result.

So there you go.  Pull yourself together and get back there and tame that beast!  You are the human after all and you're not the type of gal whose plants get the best of her.  You are a powerful, independent, pruning sheer wielding woman!  And there's nothing wrong with grinding your bites ever so slightly when you are eating the fruits of those newly humbled plants of your backyard.  Happy Conquering!    

Spring Eats: Grilled Artichokes

I love spring. I love that it is sunny, I love that I can open my windows during the day and I love that my kids can play outside and leave me alone for a minute. And I love the arrival of delicious spring produce. Like arugula. And snap peas. And asparagus. And the lovely artichoke. Sure, we live in an industrial world where you can get any of these foods any time, but they are fresher and taste better in the spring.

My wife and I have a slight addiction to the lovely artichoke. We get excited when we see them pop up at the stores and we eat about a metric ton before it gets to warm and they lose their great flavor. Sure you can boil them, which is the only way I had them as a kid, but they are so much better grilled. Here's how to do it. (And I took lots of photos so it would seem like I am the Pioneer Woman, but without her camera skills or audience of millions.)

Start with some artichokes. They look like this.

Use a really sharp knife (they are tough buggers) and lob the top 1 1/2" off the artichoke. If you've never had an artichoke before you only eat whats in the middle. You don't eat the leaves.

Here is what it will look like. Artichokes oxidize really quickly (meaning the cut parts turn brown.) It won't change the taste at all, but if you are serving them to company and want them to look purty, you can put them in water with a bit of lemon after you cut them.

Then, using your sharp knife, cut the bottom of the stem off and peel the stem, pulling off the bottom 2 or 3 leaves as you do - they will be too tough anyway and won't have anything on them to eat. Note: If you happen to be taking pictures of yourself preparing artichokes and holding a very sharp kinfe and your iPhone and an artichoke at the same time, don't cut your hand off.

Once you've peeled the artichoke stem, slice it in half lengthwise. Try and wiggle your camera a bit as you take the picture so it is nice and blury. Now see in the blurry center of the artichoke there where you can see something that looks like blurry hair? That is the choke, and you don't want to eat it. I mean, maybe you do. Maybe you are really into fibrous, undigestible plant material that looks like hair. If you are I am sure there are websites just for you. But if you just like delicious food you want to get rid of that.

Take a spoon and scoop it out. Make sure you get it all.

This is what your finished, prepped artichoke looks like. See how it is already starting to oxidize a bit? Don't be scared.

Put the artichokes in a baking dish, put about an inch of water in the bottom and then cover with plastic wrap. Feel free to use the clear plastic wrap if you are a boring individual with no flair. Microwave for about 6 minutes. Poke a fork or knife into the cut center of the artichoke to make sure they are cooked through. You want them soft. This is not the time to go for those gross "crisp cooked" vegetables they always try and serve you in restaurants. There is nothing more disapointing than an undercooked artichoke so make sure if it cooked through. It will cook a bit more on the grill but not much.

Drain the water and dress the artichokes generously with olive oil, salt and pepper. I like a lot of salt becaues I am adicted to things that are bad for me (hello, Diet Coke!) but do what you will.

Fire up the grill and when it is good and hot, grill the artichokes cut side down until they have a nice char, about 5 to 6 minutes. Flip them over and give them another few minutes on the leafy side.  Yummy.

Check out that char!

To eat, start at the outside and peel the leaves off. Dip the end of the leaf in some kind of a dipping sauce and then scrape the soft part off with your teeth. Then discard the leaf. (Really, who thought of eating these things first?) The traditional dip is melted butter or mayonaise, which would be fine. My wife uses a balsamic vineagrette. And I like to use this little wonder which I buy by the case when I am in the vicinity of a Trader Joe's expressly for this purpose. Trader Joe's Sweet Chili Sauce. Uh, yum.

Once you have eaten all the leaves, you are left with the heart. This part you can eat whole. And it is the best part.

So, don't you want some artichokes right now? You could have this for dinner TONIGHT! Our you could go wander around campus and hope someone give you money for a taco. I'm just sayin...

A lil' bit of heaven

This is a pavlova. Pavlova? Yes, pavlova. I'd always been intrigued by this dessert made with egg whites baked into a crunchy-on-the-outside-gooey-on-the-inside mound topped with whipped cream and fresh fruit but I had never had one. So when I made creme brulee for my book club the other day and had a bunch of egg whites left over I thought "Hey! I like obesity! Why just make one incredibly rich dessert when I can make two!" I almost hit a stumbling block when I realized that I didn't have raspberries or peaches or any of the other traditional pavlova toppings. But then I thought "What could I substitute for fresh fruit? Of course! Toffee crumbles!!" and this magical pavlova was born. I guess you could use fruit if you want, but the toffee was so delicious, why would you want to?

Chocolate Pavlova with Toffee Bits

• 6 large egg whites, room temperature
• 2 cups of superfine sugar (if you don't have superfine sugar just pulse your regular sugar in the food processor. Or just use the regular sugar. It won't matter too much.)
• 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon of vinegar (I used balsamic)
• 2 cups heavy cream
• powdered sugar, to taste
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 2 or 3 chopped up chocolate and toffee candy bars

Preheat the oven to 350°. Put a piece of parchment paper on a cookie sheet and draw a 9 inch circle (just trace around a 9 inch cake pan). Flip the parchment over so you can still see the line but you don't have to worry about getting pencil lead on the pavlova.

Whip the egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually add the sugar and keep beating. The mixture will get stiff and glossy. Sift in the cocoa and sprinkle in the vinegar. Fold to combine. 

Plop the meringue onto the parchment paper and spread until you fill the 9 inch circle. Smooth the top and sides. Place in oven and immediately turn the temperature down to 300°. Bake for about 1 hour. The pavlova should look dry and crackly on the top but still seem slightly gooey on the inside. Turn the over off, prop the door open slightly and leave to cool. This is best done when your toddlers are already in bed and won't try to climb in the oven. You can do this a few hours or even a day before. Just put the completely cooled pavlova in an airtight container. 

Whip the cream until stiff. Add vanilla and powdered sugar to taste - remember, the pavlova is really sweet and you are topping it with toffee chips, so don't over sweeten the cream. 

When you are ready to serve, put the pavlova on a big flat plate, mound generously with the whipped cream and sprinkle the toffee bits over the top. Slice into wedges and serve. Eat, enjoy, luxuriate. (PS. The left overs are also great eaten with one hand like a big cookie after the book club has gone home. I may speak from experience.)

A Meal to Impress

Earlier in the week Ken said that he wanted to know "How to Make a Meal that Would Impress Anyone."  When I read that I thought to myself "I love to cook. What meal would I make to impress anyone?" And then it hit me, my go-to show-stopper meal.

The Monte Cristo.

Image from Disney.com

"What is a Monte Cristo?" you might be saying. And I pity you if you are saying that. Get this: It is a batter-dipped and deep fried ham, turkey and Swiss sandwich that is sprinkled with powdered sugar and dipped in currant (or raspberry) jam.

I was first introduce to this wonder of wonder at Disneyland as a teenager. They serve it in the Blue Bayou restaurant (that's the one you can see inside Pirates of the Caribbean) and some friends and I were dining there one day. I, of course, ordered it and it, of course, rocked my teenage world.

As a college student when I was an intern at Disney World (why this sandwich is connected to Disney in my life is inexplicable, except that it is Magical.) the only restaurant we could reach without a car was a Bennigan's. They serve pub food like chicken fingers and patty melts. But they also serve a Monte Cristo. We dined on it many times.

I had long wanted to create it at home, so googled a few recipes, made some tweaks and have perfected it over the years. It does indeed impress and is oft requested at book clubs, birthday parties and gatherings of friends. Don't be fooled by recipes that are some sort of weird sandwich made with french toast. That, my friends, is a sacrilege and not a Monte Cristo. You need this baby deep fired.

Ingredients:

• 8 pieces of white sandwich bread (I sometimes use the "Texas Toast" kind if I want the sandwiches to be nice even squares.)
• 4 pieces of ham, turkey and Swiss cheese.
• 4 eggs
• 2 cups of flour
• 2 cups of water
• 3 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp of black pepper (or white pepper if you have that kind of thing and are concerned about black flecks in your batter.)
• Oil
• Powdered sugar
• Currant (or more likely raspberry) jam

Procedure:

1. Prepare sandwiches with bread, turkey, ham and Swiss. Cut each sandwich into two triangles and secure each triangle with a toothpick.
2. Whisk the eggs, flour, water, baking powder, salt and pepper in a large bowl until smooth. The batter should be about the consistency of pancake batter. Add flour or water as needed.
3. Pour the oil in a big dutch oven and heat over med-high heat. You are looking for about 350°. For many years I did this part in an eclectic fryer. Don't bother. It is just as easy to heat the oil in a pot and much easier to clean up.
4. Dip each sandwich half in batter, coating all sides and then drop in hot oil. Don't overcrowd the pan, yo! Just do a sandwich or tow at a time.
5. Cook for 2-3 minutes on each side until brown and puffy.
6. Remove from oil and drain on a paper towel-lined plate. Remove the toothpick, or at the very least warn your guest that it is there so no one gets stabbed in the uvula. 
7. Sprinkle warm sandwich with powdered sugar and jam for dipping.

This may sound a bit odd to you. A savory sandwich with sugar and jam. But believe me, it is not. It is delicious and wonderful. And sure to impress. YOU'RE WELCOME, KEN!!