Thank You For Being A Friend

So here's the thing, they are killing me at work.  We are moving the store (that's right, it's over at the Gateway and you missed the big sale and if one more person tells me how much they loved to shop on Sundays and now we are gonna miss their business...I'm gonna puke) and I just finished a 12-hour day starting at 5:45 (that's a 4:45 wake up if I was gonna care what I looked like...so 5:00 am wake up) and now I find myself only writing with parenthesis which someone once told me was trite.  (Like she would know.)


But I have a scheme.  And you know I love a good scheme.


Did you guys know that there are 4 other Part Time Authors? It's true and, no, my mother isn't one of them (though she could be).  So today, in an effort to use my friends' really hard work to my own advantage, I am going to post my favorite posts written by my fellow PTAs.  Think of this as that weak Golden Girls episode where the ladies sit around the table and "Remember the time..." and then just run clips from old shows that you have already seen.  Yeah, this is gonna be sorta like that...so sorta like this:

 Only with the five of us.  

No Mom, this is not us. 

Yet.

Here's how things work around here:

Monday is Ken:  Ken and I met pretty recently and then became writing partners when this blog was born.  He is my newest friend and he is by far the funniest author on this blog.  See what I mean here, it's classic Ken:

Ken and Vinal


Tuesday is Me: I have known myself all my life and I am hands down the funniest author on this blog.  See what I mean here:

Patrick and Girls' Hair


Wednesday is Chris:  They call him 'Topher' in the contributors, that's why you can never find him. Chris was my boss when I worked at Barnes & Noble before my mission...so 14 years ago.  He since then has received his PhD and is a wildly successful and highly paid director and professor.  I have done the exact same thing only went the much easier route and just married my Phd/Professor/Director.  Chris absolutely the funniest author on this blog.  See what I mean here, it's SO Chris:

Chris is a Mormon


Thursday is Josh:  Josh got the whole gang together.  Without him none of us would be here.  He knows and loves each of us individually and also as a whole on this blog...he's a lot like Jesus in that way.  He is without a doubt the funniest author on this blog.  See what I mean here, typical Josh:

Josh's Wife Makes Lunch


Friday is Brett:  Brett and I met over a decade ago and we acted and improv-ed and made merriment together.  He introduced me to my wife (that's all I'm saying 'bout that) and I introduced him Holly Cole...on this blog. Brett is LITERALLY the funniest author on this blog.  See what I mean here, this is what we call 'pulling a Brett':

Brett Tells You What to Watch


So that's us! I thought maybe if you come here to just read my posts you would take a look at some of my friends, they are funny and thoughtful and witty and worth reading...so is my mom. See what I mean by her comments here, Total Connie:

Not Even My Post



Have a great week!

Part Time Authors of the World!

And here we are again. Another incredibly enlightening week. This week we all commiserated around Ken's super deep love of vinyl lettering. We stalked the streets of London for someone Chris might or might not want to befriend or fear. Patrick expunded on his inability to spell but also plugged the selling of Miracles and Ikea dish brushes. And Josh wrote a turbulent hard hitting exposé about the failure of American advertizing to give us the slightest amount of credit. Also got me signed up for $1 Razor Blades! (Thanks Josh!)


But there is more to learn still! Did you know that Part Time Authors is viewed all over the world? Well, it super is! And what's more surprising is where people are viewing from. SO in honor of our friends abroad I've plagiarized fun facts from the internet (I felt like a kid in high school...not me in high school, I had to plagiarize the encyclopedia, which is a system of books with facts and pictures in alphabetical order.) about the top three (besides the good 'ol US of A) countries that visit our blog.

Here they are in order of frequent hits:



Chile

• In Calama, a town in the Atacama Desert of Chile, it has never rained.
• Cheerios (cereal) sold in South Africa are manufactured in Chile
• Chile borders three different countries; Argentina to the east, Bolivia to the northeast and Peru to the north
• Chile's coastline stretches 2,700 miles long, running from the Atacama, the world's most arid desert in the north, through forests, valleys, mountains, lakes, glacier fields, the Tierra del Fuego and the Antarctic Circle in the south. Chile is never more than 110 miles wide east to west.
• Chile is the second-largest producer of salmon in the world.
• I also love Chilli! Lindsay makes a real good vegetarian kind with roasted corn in it. Delightful!
  

Brunei

• The Guinness Book of Records and Fortune Magazine have both credited the present sultan as the richest man in the world, with assets estimated to be as high as US$37 billion. The Sultan himself disputes such claims, asserting that he doesn't have unlimited access to state funds. Nevertheless, he has managed to acquire hotels in Singapore, London and Beverly Hills; a magnificent residence, the US$350-million Istana Nurul Iman; a collection of 300 cars and a private fleet of aircraft; and over 200 fine polo horses, kept at his personal country club.
• The population of 322,000 is made up of 69% Malays, 18% Chinese, 7% indigenous tribes. The main languages spoken are Malay, English and Chinese.
• Brunei doesn't have marked wet and dry seasons. Rainfall occurs throughout the year, but is heaviest between September and January. Temperatures are consistently between 24°C (75°F) and 31°C (88°F). Average humidity is 79%, making it a pretty warm and sticky place.
• This tiny oil-rich Islamic sultanate lying on the northwest coast of Borneo is known chiefly for the astounding wealth of its Sultan, its tax-free, subsidised society, and the fact that its 280,000 people enjoy one of the highest per capita incomes on earth. Despite the ostentatious modern public buildings in the capital, most of the country remains undeveloped, unexploited and untouched by the outside world.
  Brunei is a little slice of Islamic heaven. Alcohol is virtually unobtainable, there's no nightlife, and the political culture encourages quiet acquiescence to the edicts of the sultan. The folk of Brunei are amply rewarded for their conformist ways with free healthcare, free education, free sporting centres, cheap loans and high, tax-free wages.
• My favorite thing about Brunei was that some how someone in this land I'd never heard of is reading my preference for short haired women!
  

Canada

• Canada is the second largest country in the world after Russia. The country is divided into 14 provinces. The state of Nunavut in Northern Canada was just build for the Inuit population.
• Canada is also home to the world's smallest jail, located in Ontario. It is only 270 square feet.
• The country shares the world's longest common border with the United States of America, which is also the only unprotected border in the world.
• Canadians consume more Mac and Cheese then any other nation on Earth.
• About four-fifths of Canada's population lives within 150 kilometres (93 mi) of the United States border.
• I love Canada because I went there once and it was alot like America in the way I could still see Niagara Falls. It was like I was going into Old Man Demaski's back yard but I could still see my bedroom through the window.

WELL! What an amazing world we live in and how amazing that the world is all here, day after day being informed about the importance of the terrors of Sharks and the wonders of Ryan Gossling's love of regular woman. We truly are a melding pot.