Jack of All Trades ... Master of One?

It's fitting that the theme of the posts this week have surrounded work in some way. Ken's new job, Patrick's wife's project, Josh's expert dress-to-impress advice, and Chris' BEARD working as a movie star. As it turns out, I've been wanting to write about this topic for a long time.

I have a job. It provides for my family. It's something I'm glad I have and something I feel blessed to have gotten. Landing the job I have now was definitely something God had a hand in, and he continues to help me each day. I'm thankful.

I'm good at my job. Truth is, since I hit my teens I've been OK to good at everything I've ever tried in my life. Everything I can think of anyway.

But I'm not great at my job. I'm not an expert in the strict sense of the word. Truth is, I'm not great at anything. I haven't attained mastery in any facet of my life.

It's the old saying: "Jack of all trades, master of none." Which I think was coined by Moses. (I'm only OK at history.) So, being fine has gotten me through my life pretty well. It worked for a really long time. Sometimes I'd get an A, and sometimes I'd get a C+. Sometimes I'd hit 15 three-pointers in a row and then I'd miss a lay up. Sometimes a girl would say yes. I also got frequent nos. What I hadn't thought about is that, at some point, being simply OK meant that there would always be someone better than you at everything. Someone who decided to take the time to master something.

This is a problem for me. Being good or OK isn't great. I want to be amazing. And, I know the blame falls on me. It's my life, after all. I made choices to get me here. I look around and I am surrounded by greatness. By genius. By mastery. I see spiritual greatness, creative genius, musical proficiency, parenting greatness, and acting, improvising, writing mastery. I am so proud to know all the wonderfully talented people I know who are or who are close to being the very best at what they do. They are friends, they are relatives, they are acquaintances, and they are even married to me. I'm happy for the success of others. I'm happy that so many people I know get to do what they love, what they're great at, and still provide for their families doing it.

What to do? I've decided it matters so I can't just accept being OK. I guess I need to try harder at being an expert at something.

I think the closest thing I have is my acting. It's the thing in my life that I enjoy doing more than anything else. It's the thing I get the most validation doing. Contrary to what you may have heard or believe, good acting is hard. Film, theater, improv, all of it. It's difficult to become an expert at it. But that's doable. It's even more hard to earn a living at it. This is why I think I've plateaued at good and not great. I think if I really believed in my heart that, at 42 years old, I could make a run at professional acting, then I could see myself spending the remaining hours of the 10,000 needed to become an expert. But then there's that voice that says, "Acting is great but you have a good job and a family to support." My brain cannot justify working at it more since there can be little return on the investment. See? I sure am good at talking myself out of that one. I have to keep telling myself that retirement and college funds will thank me.

The other thing is writing. That could be something. I like to do it most of the time. I could even make the effort needed to get good at it. I don't thoroughly enjoy it as much as performing. It's sort of how I already make my living. The tough part about this one is that I really love writing poems, sketches, and scripts. I don't always like marketing writing. This creates a conundrum. I could spend the time needed to get great at marketing writing but could I learn to love it and be fulfilled by it? And, after spending most of my day writing about products, do I want to come home and squeeze a few more writing hours out of myself to write a novella? The evidence against me is that I prefer watching TV to unwind rather than writing to unwind. I'll forgo TV to study for an acting audition but not for writing. Huh.

For the record, I have implemented plans to both of the above more. Maybe I will become great at them if I stick with it. It's possible.

But hold on ... I just thought of this. Maybe the answer is to become great at the things that will make me a better human. Practicing to master the non-career related things. I should spend more time becoming an expert at marriage, fatherhood, friendship, service, listening, humility, positivity, encouraging, supporting, and caring.

I bet I could be great at a couple of those. With a little expert help. Who's in?

The Slump

Five months ago I moved my family from Las Vegas, Nevada to Orem, Utah. (There we are, in Utah.) There were several reasons we did this. Some of those reasons were super clear to me, and some were not. Some were public, and some were personal. Some I’m still not sure of yet. But the path was illuminated and we felt an internal nudge to walk that path. So we did.  

This move included the process of finding a new job. And...everybody relax...I finally found The One. In fact, I start today, and I am really, really excited!

If you've never been out of work for longer than two weeks, please allow me to share just a few personal observations:

1.  It is the easiest thing in the world to “feel busy.” You will sometimes wonder how you ever found time to have a full-time career and do everything else. Your wife will ask you to go to the grocery store, and your response will be, “WHAT? That’s, like, my entire afternoon!” And then when she asks you what you’re so busy with…the only thing you’ll be able to think of is that all five seasons of Alias are now on Netflix, and those episodes aren't going to watch themselves!

2. Up to now, you have been unable to fully fathom both the glory and hazard that is Netflix Streaming.

3. There will come a day when you are standing in front of the bathroom mirror, and you have the razor in your hand, and the thought will come to you, “Who am I shaving for? Seriously, WHO cares if I’m clean shaven?” And with a smirk on your face, you’ll put the razor away. Then you’ll be surprised to notice that you’re wearing jeans…the same pair of jeans you've been wearing for four days. And they do nothing for your figure. And you’ll be disgusted with yourself. So you’ll throw those jeans in a dirty clothes pile, and you’ll go the entire morning pants-less. There will be whispered concerns between family members, but nobody will actually confront you; because clearly, you have only one marble left rolling around in that noggin of yours.

4. There will be moments where you absolutely do not feel like talking to anyone. Because even when they are genuinely concerned about your well being, you have to give them a lame update. And you start to feel that, in addition to being a disappointment to yourself, now you’re letting them down as well.  

5. You will appreciate the vulnerability of others like never before. 

6. You'll develop a deepened repugnance for Know-It-Alls. 

7. You will have conversations with your spouse that goes a little something like this:

Or something like this:

You: I’m sorry.

Spouse: For what?

You: For failing.

Spouse: Failing at what?

You: You name it.

Or maybe even something like this:

You: “The problem is I’m not qualified to do anything.”

Spouse: “You are qualified to do everything!”

You: “I've never done anything great.”

Spouse: “Everything you do is great!”

You: “Just saying the opposite of what I’m saying doesn't build confidence in me.”

Spouse: “So you want me to stop?”

You: “…Not really.”

8. You will watch clips like this, and you’ll wish that in all this "down time" you could have dinner with Elder Holland.

9.  People will ask you if you are enjoying some “down time” to do whatever it is you have always wanted to do. Write, sculpt, paint, lose weight, master the art of kung fu, create an app, become a stunt driver, start your midwifery practice…whatever. (They mean well, so don’t punch them in the throat.)  You have to remember that when you’re in the World of the Employed, having “free time” seems like the ultimate gift. But when you are in the World of the Unemployed, that “free time” and "energy to be creative" and "desire to develop new passions" and "need to wear pants" is completely choked out by the daily anxiety that despite no money coming through your door, it continues to fly out your windows.

10.  If you are blessed to be married to Katie then you will take profound comfort in her unparalleled level of confidence that all things will work together for your good, that you will be blessed to come off the conqueror and that somehow you have the abilities to provide for your family. And that she will be crazy about you, come what may.

11. You will read scriptures and your Patriarchal Blessing and remember other priesthood blessings and counsel you've received and you will be reassured and have fresh hope and courage fill your soul. Then it will be after lunch that same day, and your surroundings aren't any different than they've been for days. And you will conclude, “I know that if I am worthy of these blessings then the Lord will make good on all His promises. So…since the Lord cannot lie, and these blessings are eluding me…I must not be worthy of them. What am I doing wrong?” And so you’ll take it to the Lord over and over, and ask Him what you’re doing wrong. And the only clear answer will be, “We’re not working on your timetable. Have faith. Carry on.” And you’re kind of comforted by that, even though things are not working out when you think they should.

12. There are generous people everywhere; and sometimes even the smallest gestures of love or kindness will make you weep. It can truly be overwhelming. Whether you receive of somebody’s money or time or words of confidence, you feel known. And you wish you could adequately express your love and gratitude to these individuals, who have fast become your favorite people ever.

13. When you least expect it, you will receive clarity. For example, maybe you’re in the temple. And maybe there’s a man in front of you who has cerebral palsy and it takes his every painstaking effort to move ever so slowly, with the help of a walker. And you notice the grimace in his face, and the slowness of his breath. And it surprises you to see he’s younger than you. And a temple worker looks to you, wondering if you have come with this man to the temple today in order to assist him. And you haven’t, but you find yourself placing your hand on this stranger’s back and asking if he needs any help. And his grimace turns into a wide and warm smile, and he chuckles and responds, “Oh…I need every kind of help.” And as you are drawn into his disarming laughter, you marvel at his disposition and his faith and optimism. And you are embarrassed at how whiny you've been about your own temporary struggles. And you feel a voice patiently whispering to you, gently reminding you, “Your trial is a moment. Endure it well.”

My Biggest Weakness is that I am Super Awesome and it Intimidates People

Last week, Chris told you all how to audition for a play. I realized that my sparkly tube top and metallic pants were not doing me any favors when I sang "I Dreamed a Dream" (the Susan Boyle version) and just might be why I didn't get cast.  The post garnered lots of comments and questions. Obviously A LOT of us are auditioning for plays and failing.

So, in that same spirit, I thought I would point out something else a lot of you are failing it (and if you are not failing, your 17 year old is): Job Interviews. You see, I work in retail. And I interview a lot of 16 and 17 year olds looking for a job. And I see a lot of bad interviews. And I want to help. Also, I don't want to sit through your crappy interview, so if you are coming to work for me, read up!

1. Don't seem bored during the interview. This might seem obvious. But CLEARLY it isn't. I'm busy. I have a lot of things to do in my store. Interviewing you is not my favorite part of my day. So do me the pleasure of at least acting like you want to be there. When I ask you why you want to work for my company, don't say because you need a job. Or because you need money. Be excited about (and know something about) my company. Go to the company web page and read about us.
2. Outside of the interview, don't be too enthusiastic. I know you read some other interview article that said you should call and follow up after the interview, or call a few days after you turned your application in. Or that you should send a thank you card when the interview is done. Don't. Do. Any. Of. These. If you turned your application in and I didn't call you, its because I looked at your application and I don't want to hire you. No amount of moxie and gumption is going to get you the job. If I interviewed you and then never called you, it is because I didn't like you. And PS, your thank you card didn't change my mind. Especially if you are applying for a minimum wage or entry level job. If you don't hear from me, I'm just not that into you. 
3. Don't wear sweat pants. Do I need to elaborate?
4. If I ask you what your weakness is, really tell me what your weakness is. This is sort of trick advice. I NEVER ask this question and I think it is super lame. If you are in an interview and they ask you this first, think about if you really want to work for this d-bag. But second, if you still want to work there, actually state a weakness! Saying you are a perfectionist or that you are chronically on-time is not a weakness and just makes you look arrogant and emotionally unintelligent. Don't tell me that your weakness is murdering children, either. Come up with an honest, true weakness and then talk about how you are working on it and how you can fix it.
5. Don't show up late and then insist that I am wrong. This has happened to me. More than once.
6. I know that you can't work on Sunday because you are Mormon and your mom won't let you.  You don't have to beat around the bush or say that it is because of "religious convictions". Just say you are not available on Sunday. If I've got enough people to cover Sundays and that works for me, great! You might get hired. If I specifically need people with Sunday availability, then you probably won't get the job. It's not personal. It's not because I hate God or want to force you to stand up for your beliefs, like some inspirational Mormon Message. It's just business. You can't go to the ice cream stand and tell them you can't work in the summertime and expect to get hired. 

And here is the major one. Don't not have a personality. The biggest secret of job interviews is that I usually know if I am going to hire you within the first 30 seconds. All your fancy amazing answers about how your biggest weakness is motivating people too much don't really matter. I can teach you to do what I need you to do. What I can't teach you is to be exciting and interesting and have a personality. And if I am bored, then my customers will be bored and then you'll be bad at your job and get fired. Don't be a goofball or a cheerleader - just be authentic, outgoing, friendly and charming. If you can do that, show up on time and wear actual pants, you will probably get the job. Remember, don't call and ask if we have made our decision yet. If you have to call me, we have, and it's not you.