Monday, February 18, 2013

My Complex Relationship with Celebrities

With the Grammy’s last week and the Academy Awards coming up in two weeks, it would appear this is the season for award shows and Hollywood mucky mucks to congratulate each other on being awesome and attractive and so rich that they actually sneeze money.

By and large, I try not to learn too much about the personal lives of our nation’s most abundant commodity – our celebrities. Why, you yourself have most likely observed as well that the more you learn about somebody famous, the more you are disappointed to hear about their political agendas, or their social calendar, or their propensity for flicking children and small animals in the ear and other personal choices. Or they’re Mel Gibson, the action star of your youth who now seems to have more vices than offspring and he just kind of makes you sad.

So rather than invade their privacy, I prefer to just let their body of work speak for who they are. This is why I believe I would enjoy a road trip with Tina Fey or Bono (both of whom I conclude to be extraordinarily creative in their respective trades), and why I won’t go to dinner with John Malkovich or Christopher Walken (both of whom I conclude would kill me before dessert arrived). (Walken with a gun, Malkovich with a fork to my forehead.) 

My friend Kacy and I were recently discussing the complexity of our relationships with celebs. You want to just admire them for their talent, but you can’t help but wonder, “Would we be best friends if we knew each other?” And you kind of want to say “Of course!” But the more you learn, the more your eyes get big and your eyebrows raise, until finally, your eyes are huge and your eyebrows are so high you look like Groucho Marx. (Who I don’t know well enough to decide if we would have been friends.)

So, which celebrities do you think you’d be best friends with? And what makes you think so? 

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