Mind the Gap

Topher at Downton Abbey

Do you remember the summer of 2006? Let me refresh your memory: You were trying to get all your arty friends to watch a little TV Show called Friday Night Lights even though it was about football and you were super excited about a little TV show called Heroes and were certain that it was going to be a huge long lasting success (Spoiler Alert: it wasn't.) James Blunt was telling you that You're Beautiful and everyone, including your mom, had a blog. (Gah! Remember your mom's blog? It was so awful.)

Topher, if you don't know, runs the Study Abroad program for UVU. In fact, he is there right now. And back in 2006 when EVERYONE had a blog, he started one called Mind the Gap to chronicle his annual adventures across the pond (which is how Americans who want to pretend they are super continental refer to Europe.) It seemed apropos. After all, even your Aunt was writing a blog (about ceramics. Boy was it awful.) And then everyone stopped writing blogs, but Mind the Gap lived on.

Every summer for the month or so that Chris is taking students around London, Scotland and Paris he writes a daily account of where they went, what plays they saw, how many ghost tours they went on, where they ate and which places Topher decided to take a nap. Honestly, he takes a nap in EVERY MAJOR EUROPEAN LANDMARK. I imagine it is a huge promotional tool for the school and the study abroad program. How could you read it and not want to drop everything and spend 30 days in Great Britain? And if you are any sort of college student living in or near or withing spitting distance of Utah, you should do it. Take it from this bald, overweight, mortgage-carrying dad who wishes he had gone on a study abroad when spending a couple of fortnights in London was a conceivable idea.

You all know that Topher is a hilarious and witty writer and Mind the Gap doesn't disappoint. Here are a few totally randomly selected posts and my favorite line from each one:

• "I screamed like a giant ladybaby." from hoo! hoo! by the beautiful sea.
• "You cram so many people into the tube cars, and the heat goes up, and the arm pits come out, and people drop like flies." from for the rain it raineth. 
• "One more dumb drunk word," said their eyes, "and I will cut you."from we happy few. 
• "That’s what it means to be forty one. You are tall enough to see magical midgets!" from lord mary, lord titus
• "She has yellow this, and white that. Also very stupid." from la vie en rose in which Topher relates the tale of his student getting lost in Paris and his enlisting of the french police to help find her with terrible French. 

So if you are stuck on this side of the pond with all the other boring Americans and want to dream about what it would be like to spend a month in Europe, see dozens of world class plays, eat delicious Nando's Chicken, Pizza Express and McDonalds, and take naps in all the great spots of English History, Mind the Gap is definitely the blog for you. And that is why it is my second favorite blog.

For the record, I'm sure Topher had no idea I was going to write about his blog. And I am sure he is really embarrassed by this. But I sure do love that blog. 

do you know this guy?

So I have a special screen saver feature on my computer where, if I'm absent too long, I get a rotating slideshow of some of my pictures. I know, it's crazy! You probably don't have this feature. It's pretty rare. I have a Mac. Anyway. Sometimes if I'm bored I just watch these pictures flash by and remember good times. And some sad times. And pictures of myself 25 pounds heavier. Woo - was I ever a fatty!

Even though there are like 2 billion pictures on my computer, my computer still likes to replay the same six or seven. It totally plays favorites. So it will show 25 random pictures, then one of the six or seven, then 10 randoms, than another favorite. And the favorites are completely arbitrary. There's nothing magical or aesthetic that would signify why my computer likes them. It's a choice determined completely by zeros and ones and I get that. But it's also a little haunting, like my computer is trying to send me a message.

Take for example, this photo above. This one is clearly one of computer's favorites. Don't ask me why. It's a picture of me talking to Kelsey Howell and Anna Mortimer Greene on the Millenium Bridge in London. That's St. Paul's in the background (tuppence a bag.) It's a nice picture. I like the Millenium Bridge, even though they blew it all up in one of the Harry Potter movies. But I've been on this bridge dozens of times, so it's not really a commemorative photo. What is my computer trying to tell me? I think I may have an idea.

Every time this picture pops up I can only see the jogger in the background. I think he's funny. He's making eye contact with the camera and seems annoyed that we have stopped in his path. He totally photo bombed us, this guy with the dark socks and the fanny pack (sorry, Brits! "Tummy" pack?) Whenever this picture pops up I laugh. I don't know why it's so funny. He just looks really tired and he's running way too fast. Who is this person? Why is he haunting my computer? (Click on the picture, and you can see it better.)

I know this is really far-fetched, but miracles happen all the time on the interwebs. I'm just throwing this out there: does anybody know this guy? He's probably English. Is he your co-worker? He's got a great head of hair, that's for sure. (Tell him I said that!) Ask around. Ask some people. Maybe they know this guy. I want to buy him a beer at a pub and thank him for all the laughs. I won't be drinking beer, so relax. I think we could be good friends. I think we could hang out. I'm into jogging! (mostly on a treadmill but I'm open to trying bridges.) Does he know that the guy in the brown corduroy pants is watching him? Creepy. Does he struggle with a few extra pounds around the middle? I totally get that. It's the married man curse!

I feel like my computer wants us to be friends.

Unless my computer is warning me. Maybe this jogger wants to murder me. I guess I never thought of that.

Oh well, anyway you guys, ask around! Just see if you can get me a couple of leads.