True Friends Will Tell You What They Want

This picture has nothing to do with my post. But it is Topher's brithday party last year. It was a costume party, because of course it was. 

Topher has been my friend for a long time. And of all my friends, he is one of the few who's birthday I actually remember. The main reson for that is because he always lets you know when his birthday is coming. And he always tells you what he wants. Which I appreciate. You'll say, "Chris, what can I get you for your birthday?" And he'll say "Well, you can either get me the Elizabeth on DVD, but I think my mom is getting that, so you should get me the LA Confidential DVD." (This was, obvs, a conversation we would have had in the late 90s.)

He's not greedy. He doesn't solicit gifts. But if you want to get him a gift, he doesn't need a surprise, or sumpin' special that proves how much you know and love him. He just wants something that he wants and so he tells you what it is. And you buy it. And he is gracious and happy and grateful. Transaction completed.

One year in college, Topher really wanted a DVD player. This was when DVD players were big and expensive and rare, like Unicorns that provided director's commentary. He would never have dreamed of asking for one, because he was a poor college student, married to a poor college student with a bunch of friends who were poor college students. But a bunch of us decided to to pool our money and buy him one. Can you imagine having to pool your money with several people to buy a DVD player? I think you can get one now for about $15. Or as a prize in a happy meal. But these were the dark, rough days of the early aughts when technology was big and ugly and expensive. It was a fun gift to give, because I think he was genuinely surprised and delighted and he was the first person I knew who owned a DVD player and it was kind of cool. (And then a few years later he decided to create "Classic Movie Night" where he  would invite us all over to watch classic (read: boring) movies. Have you seen Bringing up Baby? I don't really remember much except it was terrible and about a dinosaur and a woman who was born on the side of a hill. I rued the day we bough the DVD player, then. And it caused me to create "The Dawson's Creek Directive" wherein I do not consume media that was created before "Dawson's Creek." (1998))

So if you want to know what to get Topher for his birthday, you should just ask him. He'll let you know. Maybe his DVD of Bringing Up Baby is getting worn after repeated viewings and needs replacing. Or you could go in with a bunch of friends and buy a really expensive piece of technology. What would that even be nowadays? A 3D Printer? A rocket ship? But whatever you do, don't get him the Elizabeth DVD. I think his mom already got him that.

Gifts for a Friend

Just in case you guys forgot – and I’m sure you haven’t, so I’m kind of embarrassed that I’m even bringing it up – but PTA’s very own Chris Clark has a birthday this month. On the 30^th. He’ll be 41. You probably want to start thinking about what you’re going to get him. And who better than to guide you through the process than his PTA friends? 

Here are some things to consider. 

Things to NOT Get Chris:

1. Diet Pepsi

2. Any DVDs (or Blue Rays) (or Digital Copies) of Baz Luhrmann movies

3. A Cross-Stitch of the word "Moist" 

4. Denim Shorts

5. The uncanny ability to immediately sense the precise moment something is no longer trending and you and the rest of the culture-savvy world should just be over it. (He already has this, and he would have nowhere to return it for credit, so don't burden him with it.)

Some Things Chris Would Love:

1. Lunch at SmashBurger
2. A court-ordered notice stating, under federal law, that it is illegal for John Travolta to make any more movies
3. A nap 
4. Bacon
5. A real ghost-trap, like the kind they used on Ghostbusters

I already know what I'm getting Chris. And it's something nobody else can gift to him. A dedication.

Back in college, Chris and I were - just for funsies - singing horrible songs from the 80s. (And there is a bumper crop, I don't think I need to tell you.) Anyway, we were doing this and stumbled upon a song that we could not believe we both knew. A song we remain convinced to this day that nobody else knows. A song we somehow magically end up belting out together at least semi-annually. And now I would like to dedicate it to Chris, since it IS his birthday month. And since he will be out of the country on his birthday...well, there's no time like the present.

For Chris, and the readers of Part Time Authors, I give you, Sylvia's "Nobody."

The answer to life the universe and everything

Today is my birthday. I'm sick. I'm sick on my birthday. Now, if I was 12 or 16 or even 21, I would be pouting all day, probably. But, I'm not. What I am, though, is not in the writing mood. I've been sick since Tuesday so instead of writing a post you can ponder, I've simply left you a couple of treats for your Friday.

First, Google "answer to life the universe and everything". See! 42! That's the age I am today! I made it. Learn more about 42 and why it's amazing here.

Second, here's Jim Gaffigan on birthdays, robes, and gifts:



And a little Seinfeld:


Happy Friday, everyone. And remember, 42 is the answer to everything.

Fortysomething

Me and my dad in Los Angeles ,1971; the year I was born and he turned 28. 

Yesterday was my birthday. (Thank you, and yes, I got your gift. It was just what I wanted! But I got two of them. So I’m going to return one and use the money to buy some new shoes. But I’m totally keeping the one you gave me. I’m returning the other guy’s gift.)

I am now 42 years old. Not a huge milestone birthday; however I can confidently report there is no midlife crisis on the horizon. (I check every six months; so I’m cleared until September.)

I’m actually quite fine being in my 40s. The thing that really stands out to me is being able to so clearly remember when my dad was 42. It was 1985. I was 14. My son, Garren, will be 14 this year; so the age gap is about the same.

I think about that decade for my dad and me. Ten years of milestones or rites of passage for me, all while my dad was in his 40s.

In 1983 I started junior high school, became a deacon, and received the Aaronic Priesthood. I think I also started officially using deodorant and loved watching The Outsiders. And my dad turned 40.

In 1985 I started high school, began attending early-morning seminary, went on week-long Scouting high adventures, played on the high-school water polo team...and my dad was in his 40s.

From 1987 to 1988 I became a priest, started driving, started dating, had my first kiss, got my first and second speeding tickets, went to my first U2 concert, went on a week-long surfing trip to Ensenada, Mexico, moved to Hawaii with my family, went skydiving…and my dad was in his 40s.

1989 to 1990 I had graduated high school, started college at BYU, received the Melchizedek Priesthood, and left on a mission to Portugal…and my dad was in his 40s.

In 1992 I came home from my mission and started back up at college…and my dad was in his 40s.

I am sure my dad experienced new things and had his own life alterations during his 40s, but for an egocentric teenager, it seemed like my world changed a thousand times over, and all while my dad was in his 40s. My dad will be 70 this year; but somewhere in my mind, he will always be in his 40s. And that’s the decade I am in now. And for some reason, that is what kind of blows my mind.