Tuesday, May 8, 2012

hear ye! hear me

A few weeks ago I got all braggy on you and made you think that I'm a big star because I'm in a bunch of commercials. Well, nothing is further from the truth! I don't get to be in very many commercials, and when I do they have chickens in them. But I do get a lot of voice over work, and I think you might be surprised by that fact and fascinated to learn more! In fact, for every dollar I make doing something on camera, I make ten yelling about charter schools and Durango 4X4's into a microphone. But it's vulgar to talk about money.

When I tell people that I do a lot of voice over work, generally people seemed surprised. The assumption, of course, is that to get hired you need to sound like the action movie trailer guy. I've never had a gravelly voice and I'm not willing to start smoking just to get one. I would only start smoking to look cool, and that's it. But you might be interested in knowing that a lot of clients are looking for people who sound like people, and not the devil. So I get hired a lot! It's exciting. I remember a "friend' in college telling me that I would probably have a solid career in voice over because many people are looking to hire "flat, average voices." Boy, was he right! That guy was a regular soothsayer! And also a giant tool.

A second misconception has nothing to do with the way I sound, but how I look. A lot of video editors spend hours listening to my voice as they piece together tv and radio spots. When they finally meet me, they invariably tell me that I look nothing like they pictured. They never say "you're way more handsome!" But they don't tell me I'm way uglier either, so you know me! I assume the latter. I don't think my voice is all sexy or anything, and I don't think anyone is picturing Ryan Gosling when I talk, but it's possible that they do. Because people always seem a tad disappointed, as if they expected floppy hair or a fancy goatee.

Here is an example of some of the work I've done. In this spot I'm helping people become graphic designers:

So I'm not super handsome, and so I'm not super sporty. Lose the labels! I have a nice voice.

In this next spot, I show that I'm in favor of education for everyone. Even teens:

But let's move this party out of the classroom and onto the street!

These are just samples of the magical web I weave! I'm not saying I'm more important than anyone else, I'm just saying that a lot of people buy cars and take classes at the simple command of my voice. It's almost spooky the power I (assume) I (might) have. And it all takes place in a little padded both, or behind a simple drapery! Yes, just like the Wizard of Oz! L. Frank Baum must have seen our day.
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