I’m sure I don’t need to
point out to you that this coming Sunday is our nation’s most treasured
holiday, coming in just after Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Halloween, Fourth
of July, New Year’s, Groundhog Day (mostly because of the movie), and Free
Scoop Day at Ben & Jerry’s…that’s right, Father’s Day!
If you’ve been reading Part
Time Authors for a while now, then first of all – thank you! – but more to my
point, you’ve probably come to a few conclusions about each of us. Like that
Josh loves to cook, Chris stars in commercials, Patrick can beat the crap out
of drunk people, Brett is adept at Internet Surfing, and I am lucky to call these gentleman some of my most treasured
friends.
But what better way to really
get to know somebody then to find out what kind of gifts they prefer to receive?! I ask
you, WHAT? Okay, you who suggested a
rousing game of Truth or Dare; that’s probably accurate, but this is neither
the place nor the appropriate decade.
So this week, each of us at
PTA will be sharing with you, our cherished readers, what we want for Father’s
Day. And I am going to try with all the strength of my soul to not go with the same answers I
have gone with since childhood – 1) A personal machine that prints an unending
supply of money and 2) the ability to fly.
Let’s see, I have seven
children, so that’s seven gifts, right?
1. I would like to take a Father’s Day nap right here.
2. I think it would be great to receive, gift-wrapped for Father’s
Day, a wildly successful reality TV show starring my family! It could be called Ken & Kate, Plus 8. Though that would require we produce
another child. Maybe we could go with Katie
& Ken, Plus 7. Think of it! Wouldn't you watch that show?! An LDS
family that home births, home schools, and lives in the Caribbean! (We are
willing to move.) Think of the controversy! The fish-out-of-water,
slice-of-life episodes! The paychecks!
3. A lifetime supply of this deliciousness.
4. A dinner party with my PTA friends, plus the cast of Parks &
Rec.
5. To be paid writer; successful in the book publishing industry, as
well as Hollywood screenplays, sketch comedy, and Hallmark cards.
6. An all-expense paid, month-long vacation with my family, traveling
the world!
7. The ability to fly! (I can't help myself.)
(This is the only quasi-superhero outfit I've recently tried on. It looks an awful lot like a wet-suit.)
So tune in each day and find out what we at PTA are truly searching for this Father's Day. And for the love of heaven, join the party and leave a comment letting us know what you would like as well. Maybe we'll get it for you! (Probably not, though. I have a feeling that the other guys have already blown our annual budget by flying in the cast of Parks & Rec for Sunday dinner! Can't wait!)
