I need your help. About 72
hours ago, I lost my wedding ring.
We Craigs took to Southern
California this last week. We visited family and friends and celebrated the
fact that we weren’t melting on the surface of the sun (otherwise known as our
home town of Las Vegas). And a particular highlight for me was our visit to
Zuma Beach.
Zuma Beach, just north of
Malibu, was the Mecca of my youth. From my earliest childhood memories to the
social gatherings of my adolescence, from family “beach days” to dates and church
activities, a single day at Zuma felt like an entire summer itself. We’d arrive
at the beach, lay out the beach blankets and towels, and then get out the food
as if we were going to have lunch first; only to be overcome by the exhilaration
of that huge ocean, and go running headfirst into a wave. Then, an hour later,
waterlogged and with clear sinuses from the salt water, we’d drag ourselves
onto the sand and eat like it was the first meal we’d been given since floating
to shore from a deserted island. We’d bury ourselves in the sand, throw a
Frisbee around, dig for sand crabs, build sandcastles, and wish we never had to
go home.
I hadn't been in years, and I
was thrilled to take my family there again, building up in my mind the hope of
something that could never be accomplished – creating for them, in a single
afternoon, the same love and warmth and fondness for this coastline that I held
in my own heart.
My children did not
disappoint as they seemed to inhale the atmosphere of this hallowed shore; building
forts in the sand, boogie boarding, asking if we could live on the beach
forever.
I eventually headed into some
deep water by myself and was enjoying the nostalgia. Then, to my delight, Katie
actually came out into the water to join me. It was probably the first time we
had frolicked like that since our honeymoon in Hawaii. I was showing her how to
finesse her way around the waves – jumping over them or diving under them,
depending on where they were breaking. She asked me to show her how to boogie
board. And then…as if heaven were shining down on us…three dolphins swam by,
just on the other side of the waves. I’m not kidding. And it was pretty
awesome. It was just about as perfect as it could have been – out in the water
with the love of my life, playing in the waves of the beach that held so much
history for me…
…and then I looked down at my
hand.
And I just stared at it.
I was in complete denial.
What had happened was clear, but my brain was just not letting it pass the
visual of looking at my naked hand. It was as if my brain was telling itself, “Stare
harder, and that will bring the ring back.” Or as if somehow, if I looked at my
hand long enough, it would provide a clue as to where the ring might be.
I looked up at Katie. “I lost
my wedding ring.”
She looked back at me, same
expression I had. Kind of a lost, surreal look.
And then I actually started
looking at the water around me, trying to see all the way to the sand. I
started turning around and looking. Then the more I looked around me, the more
I realized how large this body of water was – even just the water around me –
and that there was no way I was going to locate it.
I had no idea when it had
fallen off. How far the current had already carried it away. If it had gone out
to sea or was buried in the sand.
It was gone.
Abbie, not knowing what had just happened, snapped this photo from shore.
And I was horribly sad. But I
was…something else, too. I’m not sure exactly what I was feeling.
On the one hand, it’s a piece
of jewelry. On the other hand, it was almost an appendage. I looked at that
ring everyday and remembered the day, almost 17 years ago, when Katie gave it
to me. I’ve been conscious of it every day for 17 years, and thought about the
feelings it brought me when Katie put it on my finger in the Salt Lake Temple.
Nothing has changed. No covenants, no love, no health, nothing has altered all the good stuff. Life is no different. But my wedding ring is gone.
Notice the beautiful, shiny ring on my hand.
Can anybody more accurately articulate for me this bizarre feeling?